Week 7 – Nov 19: Hurricane Erty

Just back from Fat Camp in Aruba. Must have been a success as I gained 10 lbs!

THE WEEK THAT WAS

  • Erty dominated the week with 47 points on the back of his Carolina Finns.
  • He went 3-0, as did Rolphy, Fulty, & Haukster
  • T-Man had the 2nd best week, but went 2-1, losing to Erty
  • Haukster did what no one has been able to do as he gives Derko his first loss of the year.
  • Movers: Haukster jumps up to 2nd place; Erty up to 5th
  • EZ & GoJo actually tie a game – so much for the .25 business ending ties
  • R&S traded the bad Nylander & Stiflers 2018 5th round pick to Gojo for Country music sensation Owen Tippett
  • R&S picked up the great Charlie Lindgren of the Habs
  • R&S get the week 7 pick-up as a 1 was rolled.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

ERTY’s Teravainen (10pts) and Aho (9) combine for more points than R&S’s entire team.

The Finns celebrate, and a young teen girl considers buying a Hurc’s Aho jersey. Her mom wishes she was 30 years younger.

SHRAPNEL

7th worst 3rd jerseys of all time: Ray Ferraro commented that the worst-dressed game he ever saw was when the Kings trotted these tributes to Burger King out against the salmon-clad Canucks. Why am I hungry all of a sudden?

STANDINGS

TEAM G W L T PTS PWk TP AVG %
D 21 20 1 0 40 31.25 278.50 39.79 0.952
H 21 16 5 0 32 33.25 234.75 33.54 0.762
V 21 16 5 0 32 29.00 220.75 31.54 0.762
F 21 14 7 0 28 33.50 238.75 34.11 0.667
E 21 13 7 1 27 47.00 244.75 34.96 0.643
T 21 13 8 0 26 41.25 240.75 34.39 0.619
C 21 12 9 0 24 31.75 211.25 30.18 0.571
R 21 12 9 0 24 33.50 193.50 27.64 0.571
J 21 8 13 0 16 33.00 203.00 29.00 0.381
G 21 6 14 1 13 31.50 207.75 29.68 0.310
Z 21 6 14 1 13 31.50 193.75 27.68 0.310
O 21 5 16 0 10 27.00 172.25 24.61 0.238
S 21 3 17 1 7 23.50 162.50 23.21 0.167
& 21 1 20 0 2 17.50 134.00 19.14 0.048

UNTIL NEXT WEEK….

Pray for D scoring! With the “Middle Bumper” now being the favorite PowerPlay formation of most NHL teams, the days of the D-Man loading up the bomb from the point seem to be gone. Burns & Big Buff have yet to score this year. Weird.

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Week 6 – Nov 12 – Derko Dominance

Sorry this is late, apparently cracking into this website is tougher than bypassing the new iPhone facial recognition feature…

 

THE WEEK THAT COMMISH LEFT

Commish left us for a relaxing week in Aruba with the spousal unit.  What he didn’t realize was it was a week long fat camp consisting mainly of aquacises.

 

It seems the travelling bug also bit our friend EZ, as he left on a scouting mission to Amsterdam to check out the young dutch d-man sensation Krijg de Kolere.

EZ and his scouting entourage ask a friendly local for directions to the rink.

 

THE WEEK THAT WAS

  • Derko and T-Man with the perfect 3-0 weeks
  • Derko now a perfect 18-0.  Is there nothing that can be written to curse his team?  Oh, wait…nice shutout you got going there Derko!
  • Orv, EZ and R&S with the stinky weeks at 0-3
  • R&S now have fewer wins than Arizona.  Maybe time to drop the new age analytics and return to the old tried and true eye-test boys.
  • 1 trade this week as Haukster sends Gourde TB and a 4th to T-Man for Condon OTT.  Derko wondered why he wasn’t consulted before a goalie was traded?
  • Vinny is riding high on the OFHL version of PDO, or the luck stat, as he sits above 4 teams with higher weekly averages.  Will the luck continue? Or will he slide back down to the familiar comforts of the Vinny table?
  • Gojo uses the pick up to nab recently traded d-man Samual Girard CO
  • R&S are again in the basement, so the pick-up goes to the roll…and it’s a 2!  R&S win the pick up next week.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Derko’s Devin Dubnyk MIN.  This is enjoyable because I can hear T-Man screaming somewhere, “Gojo, have you heard of an auction?”

Minnesota Wild goalie Devan Dubnyk stops a breakaway scoring attempt by Nashville Predators’ Ryan Ellis using his classic “missionary”technique.

 

SHRAPNEL

3rd Jersey Fails

#8 All-time Worst — 2001-07 NASHVILLE PREDATORS 3rds

The “Baby Poo” 3rd Jerseys

Honestly, the alternate logo on these is pretty awesome, maybe better even than their traditional tiger head. But that hideous mustard yellow base and that square-cut neckline … did Barry Trotz have his grandkids design these things?

 

STANDINGS

TEAM G W L T PTS PWk TP AVG %
D 18 18 0 0 36 38.50 247.25 41.21 1.000
V 18 15 3 0 30 27.50 191.75 31.96 0.833
H 18 13 5 0 26 26.75 201.50 33.58 0.722
F 18 11 7 0 22 36.25 205.25 34.21 0.611
T 18 11 7 0 22 37.75 199.50 33.25 0.611
E 18 10 7 1 21 31.00 197.75 32.96 0.583
C 18 10 8 0 20 36.50 179.50 29.92 0.556
R 18 9 9 0 18 26.25 160.00 26.67 0.500
J 18 7 11 0 14 28.25 170.00 28.33 0.389
G 18 6 12 0 12 29.50 176.25 29.38 0.333
Z 18 6 12 0 12 21.50 162.25 27.04 0.333
O 18 5 13 0 10 23.25 145.25 24.21 0.278
S 18 3 14 1 7 33.25 139.00 23.17 0.194
& 18 1 17 0 2 18.25 116.50 19.42 0.056

 

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…

See Shitler, 3-ways are a thing…

Related image

A trade with Derko Dorion is a good thing!

Week 5 – Nov 5 Derko Perfecto!

THE WEEK THAT WAS

  • Derko’s off to a 15-0 start and is walking away with the Total Player Points. When Ovechkin is your worst player things are going pretty well. That Dadanov draft pick is paying off.
  • Haukster had the 2nd best week and the best rookie as Barzal notched 7 pts
  • T-Man has steadily been trending up the past 3 weeks moving from 9th to 6th.
  • Fulty ‘s team is consistent – had no players with zeros, and nobody with 5 or more pts
  • Cordy had the Player of the Week as Crawford had two shutouts
  • Erty jumped up 2 spots this week to 4th
  • EZ had a huge week from his D – 13 points – of which Leddy got 7
  • Orv had the 5th worst week but still went 3-0
  • Rolphy fell 3 spots to 8th
  • R&S finish last again but the pick-up goes to a lottery: R&S get 1, 2, & 3, Stif gets 4 & %, and GOJo gets 6….and its a 6. So GoJo gets the next pick up.

SHRAPNEL

By now you’ve heard of Connor McDavid taking heat from the Twitterverse for dressing as Donald Trump for Halloween. There have been some great responses to it. Here’s one (apologies to the Trump-lovers out there).

Bold Prediction: As his last act as Prime Minister in 3 years time, Justin Trudeau will outlaw Halloween as a politically insensitive celebration of historical pumpkin massacres! Then he’ll shed a few tears, and hug a shrub.

MOVEMBER

Movember is here and men are encouraged to grow a stache for Movember. Here are some great ‘staches in NHL history.

Derek Sanderson. The Bruins ran a “Date with Derek” contest in 1970. 13,000 entrants. The winner was a 73 year old grandmother. Her husband was pissed that she entered.

“Harold Snepsts was the worst skater on the team, but he could run like crazy on the ice. He really enjoyed punishing those who sat too long in the crease,” said his Edmonton Bantam AA coach, Jim Stewart.

How popular was Lanny? Darryl Sittler resigned as Leafs Captain after McDonald was traded to Calgary.

And the player who introduced the Handlebars/Fu Manchu to junior hockey, Wendel Clark.

Great staches, all. But it’s really about your nuts.

9th worst 3rd jersey of all time — 1995-97 VANCOUVER CANUCKS 3rds

For a franchise that leads major league sports in logo fails, the spaghetti skate fail might be the NHL’s biggest, but it never seemed quite so excessive as when it was applied to these shocking alternates. Add in the unbalanced yellow V that bisects the logo and slides off to the right side and take away the shoulder and arm piping and you’re left with a jersey that’s somehow overly busy and sadly plain at the same time.

Got so busy on the jersey, they forgot about the socks.

STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS 2019 – WINNIPEG JETS!

In their June 24, 2014, issue, Sports Illustrated boldly introduced the Houston Astros as “Your 2017 World Series champs.”

SI tweeted “Called it.” Cover boy George Springer was even the series MVP.

In related news, in their Future Watch 2015 edition, The Hockey News proclaimed the Jets would win the 2019 Stanley Cup.

Hmmm…they also predicted Buffalo in 2020. Get exited, Orv!

STANDINGS

TEAM

G

W

L

T

PTS

PWk

TP

AVG

%

Derko 15 15 0 0 30 49.25 208.75 41.75 1.000
Vin 15 13 2 0 26 37.75 164.25 32.85 0.867
Haukr 15 11 4 0 22 48.50 174.75 34.95 0.733
Ert 15 9 5 1 19 33.25 166.75 33.35 0.633
Fult 15 9 6 0 18 36.25 169.00 33.80 0.600
Tman 15 8 7 0 16 37.50 161.75 32.35 0.533
Crdy 15 8 7 0 16 34.50 143.00 28.60 0.533
Rolph 15 8 7 0 16 25.00 133.75 26.75 0.533
JbR 15 6 9 0 12 27.25 141.75 28.35 0.400
eZ 15 6 9 0 12 31.50 140.75 28.15 0.400
Orv 15 5 10 0 10 29.25 122.00 24.40 0.333
GoJi 15 4 11 0 8 33.50 146.75 29.35 0.267
Stif 15 1 13 1 3 18.50 105.75 21.15 0.100
R&S 15 1 14 0 2 21.25 98.25 19.65 0.067

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…

That’s it. I’m off to hotter places so you will be left in the capable hands of Fulty next week. Looking forward to that.

Week 4 – Oct 29: Release the Hounds!

Everyone should now have released their players and be down to 31; Rolphy will not have to turn off anyone’s heat. And if you think you were getting around that by using wood heat, surprise! He soaked your wood pile with gasoline.

THE WEEK THAT WAS

  • Derko continues his dominance with a big week of 45.25 points (we have to get rid of these .25 things!)
  • Derko keep his perfect streak going; 4 weeks without a loss
  • Rolphy, TMan, & Vinny all had 3-0 weeks
  • Rolphy moved up 3 spots to 5th
  • JBR fell from 6th to 10th
  • JBR finished just 1/2 point below Rolphy but went 0-3
  • Ren & Stimpy are at the bottom of the standings so they get the week 4 pick-up.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Bieksa might not be much of a player anymore, but anyone who can toss a Superman punch is pretty awesome.

Of course, these kinds of shenanigans have their consequences…

Notice it said “left hand.” Not the one he threw the punch with; the one that Gudas’s helmet landed on.

FROM THE VAULT

Four time Cup winner Butch Goring had a birthday this past week. Wonder if he still has those gold hockey pants…

Ahhh, the “good ol’ days” when you could be 5’9″, 165 lbs and play 1100+ games in the NHL. Only 102 pims in his career in a time when that was usually a season’s pims for a goalie.

Adidas is the new NHL jersey supplier. They have promised to take an active part in any 3rd jerseys any team may wish to introduce this year so that it will maintain the integrity of the NHL and various brand suppliers. Wish that was the case back when these “third’s” or “turds” were introduced.

This jersey was recently voted by hockey writers as the 10th worst 3rd jersey of all time.

Nothing really to garishly offensive but the Canadiens have an abbreviated nickname too, and you’d never catch them slapping it on the front of a jersey.

SHRAPNEL – It’s all about the roundball this week

Basketball may be the dumbest game ever (says guy who describes himself as “short, white, & Mennonite”) but it does have moments of beauty. Check out the Phoenix Suns (white jerseys) transition game as all 5 players take off at the same time. Ah, symmetry.

However, their mascots are pretty good.

It’s Halloween and some NHLers go to extremes to dress up. However, as Scott Hartnell shows, simple works.

The ‘stache ties it all together.

STANDINGS

TEAM G W L T PTS PWk TP AVG %
D 12 12 0 0 24 45.25 159.50 39.88 1.000
V 12 11 1 0 22 30.25 126.50 31.63 0.917
F 12 8 4 0 16 25.50 132.75 33.19 0.667
H 12 8 4 0 16 28.25 126.25 31.56 0.667
R 12 8 4 0 16 27.75 108.75 27.19 0.667
E 12 7 4 1 15 26.25 133.50 33.38 0.625
T 12 6 6 0 12 38.50 124.25 31.06 0.500
C 12 6 6 0 12 22.25 108.50 27.13 0.500
J 12 5 7 0 10 27.25 114.50 28.63 0.417
Z 12 5 7 0 10 26.25 109.25 27.31 0.417
G 12 3 9 0 6 29.75 113.25 28.31 0.250
O 12 2 10 0 4 24.25 92.75 23.19 0.167
S 12 1 10 1 3 14.00 87.25 21.81 0.125
& 12 1 11 0 2 17.25 77.00 19.25 0.083

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…

Since it seems I’ve ended many of these with memorials to those who have left us, let me continue this week with an old friend who passed away Friday. Taylor Field (it was never “Mosaic Stadium” to those who ever entered) was taken off life support and put to sleep after 80 years as the Riders home. There was nothing like watching a game there…either you froze your ass off siting in the open air at -27 degrees with a windchill which would rival Neptune’s, or you fried your ass off in a +38 degrees heat wave where the sun turned the metal bleachers into your own personal bacon griddle.

Farewell, my green and beer-soaked friend.

Week 3 – Oct 22

Cut-down day is coming! Sunday night Oct. 29 Mid-night. You have to be down to 31 players or Rolphy will turn off the heat in your house. Oh yeah, he’s that powerful.

You will need to have decided on your 31 players:

  • 26 active players (you can still wait until before the first game Monday to put in your weekly lineup)
  • 5 prospects/farm (23 years of age or younger – any position)

THE WEEK THAT WAS

  • Erty piled on another 3-0 with his high week of 44.25pts
  • Also going 3-0: Fulty, Derko, eZ, Haukster, Vinny
  • Six teams went 0-3 as things are starting to spread out a bit.
  • Derko is a perfect 9-0 and has the most player points
  • Vinny is making a push to leave the Vinny Table in splinters as he’s 8-1 – only loss coming to Derko
  • Ren & Stimpy had the stinky week with 22.25 but get the pick up for this week

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Great week for anyone who had TBay players. Erty had 8’s from his Ruskies, Kucherov & Vasilevsky, but Vinny’s Stamkos hit 11 points for the nod.

SHRAPNEL

Bruins teammates Charlie McAvoy and David Backes held a friendly wager this past weekend when their college teams, Boston U & Minnesota State squared off for a two-game series.

Backes offered to pay for the rook’s dinner on the road if BU won both games, while McAvoy agreed to come to Backes house and pick up his dog’s poop if Minnesota State swept. It seemed like a pretty good proposition for McAvoy, as BU came into the series ranked second in the country while Minnesota State was unranked.

Well tough luck, Rook, Minny pounded the Terriers, winning 6-3 and 3-0.

A bet is a bet, so McAvoy had to make the house call with a scooper in hand.

Everybody is jumping on the Don Cherry tribute jerseys. Friday night was Brandon Wheat Kings turn.

STANDINGS

TEAM G W L T PTS PWk TP AVG %
Derko 9 9 0 0 18 38.75 114.25 38.08 1.000
Vinny 9 8 1 0 16 32.00 96.25 32.08 0.889
Fulty 9 7 2 0 14 35.50 107.25 35.75 0.778
Erty 9 6 2 1 13 44.25 107.25 35.75 0.722
Haukstr 9 6 3 0 12 37.25 98.00 32.67 0.667
JBR 9 5 4 0 10 29.50 87.25 29.08 0.556
Crdy 9 5 4 0 10 25.50 86.25 28.75 0.556
Rolphy 9 5 4 0 10 30.25 81.00 27.00 0.556
Tman 9 3 6 0 6 25.75 85.75 28.58 0.333
Zwiersy 9 3 6 0 6 34.50 83.00 27.67 0.333
GoJo 9 2 7 0 4 26.50 83.50 27.83 0.222
Stiflr 9 1 7 1 3 26.25 73.25 24.42 0.167
Orb 9 1 8 0 2 25.25 68.50 22.83 0.111
Ren & Stimpy 9 1 8 0 2 22.25 59.75 19.92 0.111

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…

Two great Canadians left us this week:

One you might not know so much about. John Dunsworth played Mr. Lahey on the Trailer Park Boys. An actor with a diverse resume, he never drank but played the whiskey drinking trailer park supervisor for many seasons.

No other Canadian musician understood this country’s deep love of hockey as did Gordon Downie. The life-long Bruins fan was a goalie who backstopped the Amherstville Bantam Rep to an Ontario Provincial Championship back in the day. Here is a tribute to Gord, his love of Canada, and his love of the game. Take some time, raise a glass and enjoy…

A tribute to his father who used to stand at “The Lonely End” and watch Gord in net.

The video for “The Darkest One” encompasses so much Canadiana:

  • Trailer Park Boys jacking a motor
  • old dollar bills
  • Don Cherry backhanding Ricky
  • old school Canadian stubbies
  • Bubbles with the cat
  • Bubbles driving
  • and Downie raising a glass at 2:36. Cheers!