Torts Looking for Employment through Craigslist

Suspended by the NHL for 15 days without pay for his for his role in Saturday’s brawl involving the Calgary Flames, Vancouver Canucks head coach John Tortorella has apparently taken to Craigslist to find something to occupy his time.

The posting, which has been flagged for removal (because, you know, it’s not real), read as follows (via The Province):

Hi,

I am currently employed, but have a small 2 week mandated “vacation”. I have worked all over North America including Tampa Bay and New York, as well as a brief trial run in Television

I am looking to try all the great jobs Vancouver has to offer: Ferry Captain, Weed Dealer, Lumberjack, Lululemon Model, you name it I will try it (Please no media jobs).

I love dogs, hockey and screaming at idiots. I can babysit, as I often have to deal with my crybaby players.

Thank you for your consideration.

-John

If you’re in the Vancouver area and stop by a drive-thru for a coffee in the coming days, don’t be surprised to see Torts handing over your double-double.

torts

from the rolphyfiles

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Posted on January 23, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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