Archived from the Board (May 1, 2014)

As we were sitting around tonight drinking our beers (and Derko’s leftover halfs) the conversation turned to which NHL franchise most closely replicated the OFHL teams.

This is what the quorum decided:

Cordy = Canadiens
Won it lots, but most of those were way back in the day when they had an unfair advantage, like getting first shot at all the French speaking players or trading with guys who thought getting Oleg Tverdovsky and a 5th for Joe Thornton and Jaromir Jagr might payoff in the long run.

Derko = Black Hawks
Was Bad for a lot of years but stockpiled some picks and made some (astute?) trades. Have had a really good run in the last few years, culminating in some hardware. Only difference, Chicago doesn’t have a sequined jock named after their city.

Orv = Maple Leafs
yah, he won it back in the day, but no one really remembers that anymore, and the futility continues. Plus, sometimes Orv’s inner monologue cuts loose with something that’s sounds like it came from Rob Ford.

EZ = Blue Jackets
A newer team that seems to be getting better all the time but still has to get over the hump. “You’re off the case, Bobrovsky! ”

Erty = Wild
A relatively new entrant. Not a bad team, but not a great team. Basically, not a lot of fun to watch. Usually whining about something.

Vinny = Blues
Longest streak without a championship. Has a table named after him at Tim Hortons, much like Hitchcock at “Ribs R Us.”

Rolphy = Panthers
Newer expansion team just keeps stocking up the picks. Teams like to play them because the weather is nice and you’ll get two points.

T-Man = Islanders
Created a bit of a dynasty; fallen on some recent hard times and is now trying to get back to former glories. Currently going through his “Milbury” phase.

GoJo = Flames
Has a championship in their past but is facing some hard times now. Always seem to like his team but trying to get more truculent in a Brian Burkesque fashion. Thankfully GoJo doesn’t have the Burke haircut…….yet.

Fulty = Sharks
Every year someone (TSN, The Hockey News, the napkin) picks this team to go all the way and win it all. With such a strong lineup they look like a sure bet to win or at least be in the upper echelon every year. But for whatever reason, bad luck, karma, a lousy GM, this team repeatedly underwhelms.

Haukster = Lightning
They won it a few years ago with skill and are on a rebuild but it may take a while yet.

Durand = Jets
Welcome to the league. Give us your money and we will let you play, just don’t ever expect to win.


Posted on July 11, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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