30 Thoughts on OFHL Draft ’16
OFHL Draft ’16 will unofficially go down as “The Woodstock Draft” as it was a very peaceful, easy weekend. The most contentious issue was selecting a nickname for the new team. Like a confused, white rapper trying to make it big in the biz, Chad & Jordan tried to give themselves their own nickname, but we all know “that sh*t don’t fly,” with Haukster. While the monikers “Chordan” & “Ace & Gary” had legs, other suggestions (Jihad, Loverboyz, and Alcoholeaks) were quickly tossed aside . A sub-committee was established and dispatched to the hot-tub to come up with a suitable name. “Bert & Ernie”, “Bob & Doug,” “Fish & Chips,” “Weiner & Bun” were all excellent suggestions, but, in the end, “Ren & Stimpy” seems to be one that’s sticking. While we may refer to them by that name or the shorter “RnS,” their letter designation will appear in future communications as “&.” Can’t wait for one of them to call the other an “Eeeee-diot!”
Anyways, on with the thoughts.
- Kudos to all for your contributions to the weekend. Fulty for organizing the accommodations & golf; Orv for the menu; Derko for running home to get forgotten items; GoJo for the high-quality draft papers, and everyone else for bringing waaaay too much food. Hey JBR, you are bringing the bacon every year. That was some awesome pig!
- The new guys made some solid selections from the cuts. And they brought some good beer. Good addition to the pool.
- Cigars are great! Until you wake-up the next morning and you can’t brush your teeth enough.
- Vinny did not lose one golf ball this weekend.
- T-Man’s golf game improved when it was suggested that he wasn’t left-handed.
- You may build your house well off the golf course, or park your golf cart far from danger, but there is no safety from Cordy’s uber-slice.
- Australian accents are awesome!
- It’s tough to make a lone wolf putt when you’re the last to putt-out. The Hazel Huckvale Bell-e-Acres hole was always the toughest.
- Old bagels make sweet Inukshuks.
- Apple Jack Punch is best served to anyone else.
- Team Rolphy was missed by all, but some GM’s took his absence as an opportunity to introduce some “warm-blanket” motions. However, after reading a text from him about how he would “bring the OFHL down around our ears if we passed any of these flower-child motions,” no seconders could be found.
- The playoff proposal was adopted as a one-year pilot project. (unless Fulty wins the pool again, in which case we will have to find some other gimmick to bring him down.)
- GoJo introduced a proposal for a new category – Coaches – where a team’s points would count. Discussion ensued, and most seemed okay with the idea, but agreed it needs more research. GoJo was tasked with coming up with a detailed proposal to present at the Denny’s Christmas Banquet. Rolphy’s reaction will be priceless.
- Did you know there were 18 point-per-game players in the NHL last year? And did you know there were 22 point-per-game coaches in the NHL last year? GoJo did. He knows math.
- Derko’s safe word is “Insatiable!” & we have no idea what he gave up to be here this weekend.
- A motion that Vet & UFA age drops by one year (players become vets at 31, UFA’s at 33) passed with one of strangest “I’ll put my hand up if I see that I am in the majority” moves that would be worthy of a jury scene in any Hollywood movie. “All in favor? That’s six. Seven. No wait, eight. Eight & a half. Eight & 3/4? Nine! Carried!”
- 1st 3 picks of round one went true to form: Vinny grabbed Matthews TO first overall, Laine WP went Stifler, and JBR grabbed Pull-your RV from EDM. Then…..
- EZ single-handedly upset the rest of 1st round. His offer to Cordy started a trading frenzy not seen since the day Wendy decided to win at all costs. 8 picks & 2 players were moved in round 1.
- The first round took just under an hour to complete. Followed by Pie Break.
- GoJo demonstrated his telekinesis skills as he selected the player Orv had written on a piece of paper. Too bad, would have loved another year of Orv trying to say “Bjorkstrand.”
- File it under “Things We Never Thought We’d See,” Fulty has to take a shot after picking an already drafted Vesey at the end of the 2nd round.
- When round 5 is starting, and the only players you’ve selected are Miller and D. Sedin, you get sad.
- When you come back inside after having a smoke on the deck, be prepared for a “wall of sh*t”
- When the average age of your first two pick is 41, you’re going for it.
- Some terrible picks were made: Fulty took Harold Stolar from the Ministry of Forests, Cordy took the creepy passport photo guy from WL, and Erty drafted the Roman Emperor Caligula who has a surprisingly good shot at making a weak Oilers squad.
- Orv would have one this thing numerous times if he had only realized that a team’s alphabetical list of players by position is not its depth chart
- Somebody went home with 40 cooked sausages.
- Gummy Boobs are delicious, nutritious, and fun.
- Understatement of the year, “It smells a little bit like poop in here.” Stifler.
Post your starting 13 on the board before the first game puck drop.
Let the games begin!