30 Thoughts on OFHL Draft ’16

OFHL Draft ’16 will unofficially go down as “The Woodstock Draft” as it was a very peaceful, easy weekend. The most contentious issue was selecting a nickname for the new team. Like a confused, white rapper trying to make it big in the biz, Chad & Jordan tried to give themselves their own nickname, but we all know “that sh*t don’t fly,” with Haukster. While the monikers “Chordan” & “Ace & Gary” had legs, other suggestions (Jihad, Loverboyz, and Alcoholeaks) were quickly tossed aside . A sub-committee was established and dispatched to the hot-tub to come up with a suitable name. “Bert & Ernie”, “Bob & Doug,” “Fish & Chips,” “Weiner & Bun” were all excellent suggestions, but, in the end, “Ren & Stimpy” seems to be one that’s sticking. While we may refer to them by that name or the shorter “RnS,” their letter designation will appear in future communications as “&.” Can’t wait for one of them to call the other an “Eeeee-diot!”

"Let's see if I got this straight: something came out of your butt. And it made a sound."

“Let’s see if I got this straight: something came out of your butt. And it made a sound.”

Anyways, on with the thoughts.

  1. Kudos to all for your contributions to the weekend. Fulty for organizing the accommodations & golf; Orv for the menu; Derko for running home to get forgotten items; GoJo for the high-quality draft papers, and everyone else for bringing waaaay too much food. Hey JBR, you are bringing the bacon every year. That was some awesome pig!
  2. The new guys made some solid selections from the cuts. And they brought some good beer. Good addition to the pool.
  3. Cigars are great! Until you wake-up the next morning and you can’t brush your teeth enough.
  4. #blackskinsmatter
  5. Vinny did not lose one golf ball this weekend.
  6. T-Man’s golf game improved when it was suggested that he wasn’t left-handed.
  7. You may build your house well off the golf course, or park your golf cart far from danger, but there is no safety from Cordy’s uber-slice.
  8. Australian accents are awesome!
  9. It’s tough to make a lone wolf putt when you’re the last to putt-out. The Hazel Huckvale Bell-e-Acres hole was always the toughest.
  10. Old bagels make sweet Inukshuks.
  11. Apple Jack Punch is best served to anyone else.
  12. Team Rolphy was missed by all, but some GM’s took his absence as an opportunity to introduce some “warm-blanket” motions. However, after reading a text from him about how he would “bring the OFHL down around our ears if we passed any of these flower-child motions,” no seconders could be found.
  13. The playoff proposal was adopted as a one-year pilot project. (unless Fulty wins the pool again, in which case we will have to find some other gimmick to bring him down.)
  14. GoJo introduced a proposal for a new category – Coaches – where a team’s points would count. Discussion ensued, and most seemed okay with the idea, but agreed it needs more research. GoJo was tasked with coming up with a detailed proposal to present at the Denny’s Christmas Banquet. Rolphy’s reaction will be priceless.
  15. Did you know there were 18 point-per-game players in the NHL last year? And did you know there were 22 point-per-game coaches in the NHL last year? GoJo did. He knows math.
  16. Derko’s safe word is “Insatiable!” & we have no idea what he gave up to be here this weekend.
  17. A motion that Vet & UFA age drops by one year (players become vets at 31, UFA’s at 33) passed with one of strangest “I’ll put my hand up if I see that I am in the majority” moves that would be worthy of a jury scene in any Hollywood movie. “All in favor? That’s six. Seven. No wait, eight. Eight & a half. Eight & 3/4? Nine! Carried!”
  18. 1st 3 picks of round one went true to form: Vinny grabbed Matthews TO first overall, Laine WP went Stifler, and JBR grabbed Pull-your RV from EDM. Then…..
  19. EZ single-handedly upset the rest of 1st round. His offer to Cordy started a trading frenzy not seen since the day Wendy decided to win at all costs. 8 picks & 2 players were moved in round 1.
  20. The first round took just under an hour to complete. Followed by Pie Break.
  21. GoJo demonstrated his telekinesis skills as he selected the player Orv had written on a piece of paper. Too bad, would have loved another year of Orv trying to say “Bjorkstrand.”
  22. File it under “Things We Never Thought We’d See,” Fulty has to take a shot after picking an already drafted Vesey at the end of the 2nd round.
  23. When round 5 is starting, and the only players you’ve selected are Miller and D. Sedin, you get sad.
  24. When you come back inside after having a smoke on the deck, be prepared for a “wall of sh*t”
  25. When the average age of your first two pick is 41, you’re going for it.
  26. Some terrible picks were made: Fulty took Harold Stolar from the Ministry of Forests, Cordy took the creepy passport photo guy from WL, and Erty drafted the Roman Emperor Caligula who has a surprisingly good shot at making a weak Oilers squad.
  27. Orv would have one this thing numerous times if he had only realized that a team’s alphabetical list of players by position is not its depth chart
  28. Somebody went home with 40 cooked sausages.
  29. Gummy Boobs are delicious, nutritious, and fun.
  30. Understatement of the year, “It smells a little bit like poop in here.” Stifler.

Post your starting 13 on the board before the first game puck drop.

Let the games begin!

 

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Posted on October 3, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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