THE WEEK THAT WAS
- Big Week: HAUKSTER takes the first week with 34.5 points. Could have been more but for his honesty.
- Low Week: ORV with 13, but he gets the first pick-up of the year.
- Derko, Vinny, & JBR all go 3-0; EZ, Gojo, & Orv will have to wait for next week.
There is a new schedule from the one you got in the Welcome Package. Check the main page for it.
Forgot to wish a Happy Birthday to these youngsters last week.
REMINDER: Cut down day is the end of week 4, Oct. 29.
PLAYERS OF THE WEEK
Ovie & Kuznetsov each had 7 points in a short week.
Nice opener for Ren & Stimpy’s Ryan Hartman CHI. On pace for a 410 point season.
Jaromir Jagr – he’s earned it. Waits until training camp is over. Signs. Who needs practice?
Good thing there was one urinal unoccupied.
ROUND 1 REVISITED
While the 2017-18 Draft was progressing through the first round, many comments were being made about the player selections. Here are just a few of those comments:
- PATRICK PH – This is the toughest and easiest pick in the draft; basically a coin-flip; Calder winner just based on his pre-season fight.
- HISCHER NJ – The 1A selection; easiest pick in the draft; Who would want Jersey guys?
- MAKAR CO – Foundational fantasy stud; I would have grabbed him #1; He played in the Alberta Penal League.
- HESKINEN DL – Best D in the draft; Adam Larsson type numbers; PP guy or Shut-down D?
- PAVELSKI SJ – Way too early; Best Vet in draft; Why wasn’t I informed about this?
- FORSBACKA-KARLSSON BO – Bergereon-lite; Is Forsbacka his first name? JFK…Weird.
- RINNE NS – Someone is going for it; He’ll be back-up to Saros.
- KEITH CH – Someone else is going for it; Best D Vet available.
- MITTLESTADT BF – He’ll be worth the wait; Translated from the German his name means “middle – table.” Move over Vinny.
- GLASS VG – He’ll be #1 centre with AHL wingers; Great WHLer but that might be it.
- PETTERSSON VN – Most skilled player in the draft; 141 lbs; seriously?
- LUNDQVIST NR – Someone else is going for it; Do the Rangers even have a back-up?
- SHIPYACHOV VG – Calder winner if this was 1986. Thanks, Makarov; Is he a vet already?
- GIORDANO CY – Someone else is going for it; Too old; Thought Yamamoto was going at that pick.
DON’T TRIP OVER THE BLUELINE
The Vegas GKs are freezing the first and last names of all their season ticket holders onto the ice so as to “create a sense of ownership among the fans.” Of course, $500 Million would give you “real ownership.”
HE WROTE A BOOK?
When a retired athlete writes (tells) a book, it’s usually not that exciting as they don’t want to throw ex-teammates, coaches, refs under the bus. Sean Avery, on the other hand… As much as we may despise Sean Avery, this may be an interesting book (not that you’d want it for Christmas – maybe get the e-version so you don’t have to see Avery’s mug on your dusty shelf for years.)
Avery’s book “Ice Capades: A Memoir Of Fast Living And Tough Hockey” sounds like it’s a must-read. Some tidbits:
- an acid trip at a Phish show
- a make-out session with Scarlett Johansson
- on Torts – “Tortorella has a reputation as a hard-ass, but not if you know him as a player. We used to laugh at him all the time. There was always someone in the dressing room who wanted to take their skate and decapitate him or take their stick and whack him over the head with it. Marion Gaborik despised him with every bone in his body”
- and on Torts missing Derek Boogaard’s funeral – A coach not attending his player’s funeral is unheard of. But maybe it’s just as well he wasn’t there, since in my opinion the appalling manner in which he’d treated Derek after he was injured had been a factor in Derek’s decline and death.” Ouch!
UNTIL NEXT WEEK…
Thanks Tom. You will be missed.
PLAYOFF 2017 WINNERS
|2016-17 OFHL PLAYOFFS|
|TIER 1 (5th rd pick)|
|GM||Wk 1||Wk 2||Total|
|TIER 2 (4th rd pick)|
|Tier 3 (3rd rd pick)|
Congrats to JBR, Haukster, & Fulty.
2016-17 YEAR END WRAP
#1 CORDY: OFHL CHAMPION $200
Ten time champ. Yay.
- 117 pts; 81.3 winning %
- 843 player pts; 35.1 weekly avg
- 10 time OFHL Champion (and yes, 7 of those were won in the “dead-puck era”) but he has a pattern of winning every 5 years (2007, 2012, 2017.)
- Jumped into 1st in week 4 and never looked back.
- Late season 17-1 run helped. Pre-season acquisition of Atkinson CBJ, plus healthy Malkin & Price were key.
- Made 12 trades
- Loses vets Spezza, Keith, Thornton, Ward & Niemi
- 3Year Trend: (the 3 years prior) 2nd, 2nd, 2nd
- PLAYOFFS: 5th place in Tier 1
#2 ROLPHY: $140 DERKO CUP (and a warm blanket)
Rolphy had a great season. Just ran into some problems at the end
- 109 pts; 75.7 winning %
- 786 player pts; 32.8 weekly avg
- Grabbed 2nd place in week 5 and (but for 1 week) carried it out until the end of the year
- Made a 19-2 mid-season run
- Burns and Holtby carried the mail and will be around next year
- Burns has one year left before UFA
- Turns out Tkachuk was a great 1st round rookie pick
- Made 4 trades
- Byfuglien trade showed his desire to go for it
- Loses Steen & Vrbata
- 3Year Trend: 11th, 4th, 4th
- PLAYOFFS: 3rd place in Tier 1
#3 FULTY: $100
…and in the strangest move of the year, Fulty traded away his vets for an entire First Nations youth soccer team.
- 100 pts; 69.4 winning %
- 778 player pts; 32.4 weekly avg
- The 2015 & 2016 Champion had another solid run
- Only spent one week (wk 4) alone in 1st
- Hurt by a 2-6-1 run in January
- Made 6 trades
- Loses Giordano & Parise
- 3Year Trend: 5th, 1st, 1st
- PLAYOFFS: 1st place in Tier 1
#4 DERKO: $60
Just when you think he’s going to start drowning, he rights the ship. And saves his half-beer too.
- 96 pts; 66.7 winning %
- 733 player pts; 30.5 weekly avg
- The 2014 Champion has been slowly slipping down the standings since
- Consistently in 3rd or 4th for most of season
- Made 5 trades
- Loses Pavelski, Koivu, Parenteau & Rinne
- Has the #1 player in Future Watch – Keller AZ
- 3Year Trend: 1st, 3rd, 3rd
- PLAYOFFS: 2nd place in Tier 1
#5 T-MAN: $40
He’s done really well for himself considering he was the only kid in school who had to wear a helmet for volleyball
- 85 pts; 59.0 winning %
- 735 player pts; 30.6 weekly avg
- 2 more player points that Derko
- The 2007 and 2011 Champion is moving back up the standings after a few years
- Biggest mover of the year: Was in 11th after wk 8; jumped up to 5th by wk19
- Made 11 trades
- Loses Jagr, Cammalleri, Ribeiro & Lundquist
- 3Year Trend: 7th, 7th, 5th
- PLAYOFFS: 4th place in Tier 1
- 76 pts; 52.8 winning %
- 731 player pts; 30.5 weekly avg
- Initiated the biggest trade day frenzy on Draft Day ’16 by moving two 1st round picks and Niemi DL for Gibson AH
- Solid weekly average but lacked consistency – a lot of big weeks, and a lot of low weeks
- Hurt by two 0-9 stretches
- Yo-yoed from 7th to 10th to 6th to 9th to 6th to 8th to 6th
- Made 4 trades
- Loses Vanek, Marleau & Lehtonen
- 3Year Trend: 4th, 6th, 10th
- PLAYOFFS: 3rd place in Tier 2
Some tough mudding this season for the Haukster
- 74 pts; 51.4 winning %
- 686 player pts; 28.6 weekly avg
- Most active GM on Draft Day ’16 moving out 6 picks for 5 picks and Rick Nash NYR
- Started strong with a 17-7 run
- Made 5 trades
- Loses Nash, Markov & Streit
- 3Year Trend: 3rd, 5th, 9th
- PLAYOFFS: 1st place in Tier 2
Same old. Every year.
- 73 pts; 50.7 winning %
- 669 player pts; 27.9 weekly avg
- Thought that this might finally be his year as he rolled to a 9-0 start
- Sat at 5th or 6th for most of the season before a last week fall to 8th – The bright side? Makes for a better draft pick
- Made 3 trades
- Loses HSedin, Zetterberg, Hartnell, Kesler, MSmith, Luongo & Howard
- 3Year Trend: 8th, 8th, 11th
- PLAYOFFS: 5th place in Tier 2
The dude was too busy surfin’ to worry much about his team this year. Or to get a haircut.
- 64 pts; 44.4 winning %
- 647 player pts; 27.0 weekly avg
- The 2013 OFHL Champion hasn’t finished higher than 6th since
- Traded for a late 1st rd pick and selected Bjorkstarnd CBJ just to break Orv’s heart
- Only managed two 3-0 weeks
- Made 3 trades
- Loses Nielsen & Anderson
- Only Future Watch prospect (Bjorkstrand CBJ) won’t be a rookie next year
- 3Year Trend: 10th, 10th, 6th
- PLAYOFFS: 6th place in Tier 2
- 61 pts; 42.4 winning %
- 615 player pts; 25.6 weekly avg
- Was in 4th from weeks 5-7 but fell to 10th in week 14 and stayed there all season, but on the plus side, 10th was the lucky spot
- Won the 2017 lottery draft with an 11.1% chance
- Made 2 trades
- Loses Sharp, Doan & Hudler
- 3Year Trend: 6th, 9th, 7th
- PLAYOFFS: 4th place in Tier 2
Stifler’s season never really started off the way he expected
- 51 pts; 35.4 winning %
- 605 player pts; 25.2 weekly avg
- Had a nice 8-3-1 in the middle of the season as Eichel came back from injury
- Finished 9 points ahead of his expansion cousin JBR.
- Made 1 trade (the Christmas trade)
- Loses Hossa & Stempniak
- 2Year Trend: 12th, 13th
- PLAYOFFS: 2nd place in Tier 3
Google “JBR images” and “JR bent nose” comes up.
- 42 pts; 29.2 winning %
- 571 player pts; 23.8 weekly avg
- Was tied for 1st after week 1
- Like Stifler, had a solid mid-season run
- Made 1 trade (the Christmas trade)
- Loses Iginla & Gaborik
- Has the #2 player in Future Watch (Puljujarvi ED) & 6 of the Top 50 prospects
- 2Year Trend: 13th, 12th
- PLAYOFFS: 1st place in Tier 3
Orv’s season in a gif
- 39 pts; 27.1 winning %
- 551 player pts; 23.0 weekly avg
- Started the season 2-10, then put a few solid weeks together, but was hamstrung by a 3-15 Nov-Dec run
- Made 8 trades, some sober, but all with one hand in pants
- Loses Plekanec, DSedin, Miller
- Future looks bright as he had 7 players in the Future Watch Top 50
- 3Year Trend: 9th, 11th, 8th
- PLAYOFFS: 3rd place in Tier 3
#14 REN & STIMPY
- 21 pts; 14.6 winning %
- 456 player pts; 19.0 weekly avg
- After getting the feel for the pool, showed they weren’t afraid to deal for youth and picks
- Made 6 pick-ups for young players
- Made 9 trades
- Loses Backes & Filppula
- Future looks bright: have 3 of the top 9 prospects; 7 of the Top 50, and 10 of the Top 100
- PLAYOFFS: 4th place in Tier 3
With Erty winning the lottery, here is the order for round 1
- T-Man (from Orv)
- T-Man (from eZ via Cordy)
- Cordy (from T-Man)
- Orv (from Rolphy via T-Man & R&S)
That’s it for 2016-17. It’s been a good year. See you at Draft 2017. Enjoy the cake.
OFHL Draft ’16 will unofficially go down as “The Woodstock Draft” as it was a very peaceful, easy weekend. The most contentious issue was selecting a nickname for the new team. Like a confused, white rapper trying to make it big in the biz, Chad & Jordan tried to give themselves their own nickname, but we all know “that sh*t don’t fly,” with Haukster. While the monikers “Chordan” & “Ace & Gary” had legs, other suggestions (Jihad, Loverboyz, and Alcoholeaks) were quickly tossed aside . A sub-committee was established and dispatched to the hot-tub to come up with a suitable name. “Bert & Ernie”, “Bob & Doug,” “Fish & Chips,” “Weiner & Bun” were all excellent suggestions, but, in the end, “Ren & Stimpy” seems to be one that’s sticking. While we may refer to them by that name or the shorter “RnS,” their letter designation will appear in future communications as “&.” Can’t wait for one of them to call the other an “Eeeee-diot!”
Anyways, on with the thoughts.
- Kudos to all for your contributions to the weekend. Fulty for organizing the accommodations & golf; Orv for the menu; Derko for running home to get forgotten items; GoJo for the high-quality draft papers, and everyone else for bringing waaaay too much food. Hey JBR, you are bringing the bacon every year. That was some awesome pig!
- The new guys made some solid selections from the cuts. And they brought some good beer. Good addition to the pool.
- Cigars are great! Until you wake-up the next morning and you can’t brush your teeth enough.
- Vinny did not lose one golf ball this weekend.
- T-Man’s golf game improved when it was suggested that he wasn’t left-handed.
- You may build your house well off the golf course, or park your golf cart far from danger, but there is no safety from Cordy’s uber-slice.
- Australian accents are awesome!
- It’s tough to make a lone wolf putt when you’re the last to putt-out. The Hazel Huckvale Bell-e-Acres hole was always the toughest.
- Old bagels make sweet Inukshuks.
- Apple Jack Punch is best served to anyone else.
- Team Rolphy was missed by all, but some GM’s took his absence as an opportunity to introduce some “warm-blanket” motions. However, after reading a text from him about how he would “bring the OFHL down around our ears if we passed any of these flower-child motions,” no seconders could be found.
- The playoff proposal was adopted as a one-year pilot project. (unless Fulty wins the pool again, in which case we will have to find some other gimmick to bring him down.)
- GoJo introduced a proposal for a new category – Coaches – where a team’s points would count. Discussion ensued, and most seemed okay with the idea, but agreed it needs more research. GoJo was tasked with coming up with a detailed proposal to present at the Denny’s Christmas Banquet. Rolphy’s reaction will be priceless.
- Did you know there were 18 point-per-game players in the NHL last year? And did you know there were 22 point-per-game coaches in the NHL last year? GoJo did. He knows math.
- Derko’s safe word is “Insatiable!” & we have no idea what he gave up to be here this weekend.
- A motion that Vet & UFA age drops by one year (players become vets at 31, UFA’s at 33) passed with one of strangest “I’ll put my hand up if I see that I am in the majority” moves that would be worthy of a jury scene in any Hollywood movie. “All in favor? That’s six. Seven. No wait, eight. Eight & a half. Eight & 3/4? Nine! Carried!”
- 1st 3 picks of round one went true to form: Vinny grabbed Matthews TO first overall, Laine WP went Stifler, and JBR grabbed Pull-your RV from EDM. Then…..
- EZ single-handedly upset the rest of 1st round. His offer to Cordy started a trading frenzy not seen since the day Wendy decided to win at all costs. 8 picks & 2 players were moved in round 1.
- The first round took just under an hour to complete. Followed by Pie Break.
- GoJo demonstrated his telekinesis skills as he selected the player Orv had written on a piece of paper. Too bad, would have loved another year of Orv trying to say “Bjorkstrand.”
- File it under “Things We Never Thought We’d See,” Fulty has to take a shot after picking an already drafted Vesey at the end of the 2nd round.
- When round 5 is starting, and the only players you’ve selected are Miller and D. Sedin, you get sad.
- When you come back inside after having a smoke on the deck, be prepared for a “wall of sh*t”
- When the average age of your first two pick is 41, you’re going for it.
- Some terrible picks were made: Fulty took Harold Stolar from the Ministry of Forests, Cordy took the creepy passport photo guy from WL, and Erty drafted the Roman Emperor Caligula who has a surprisingly good shot at making a weak Oilers squad.
- Orv would have one this thing numerous times if he had only realized that a team’s alphabetical list of players by position is not its depth chart
- Somebody went home with 40 cooked sausages.
- Gummy Boobs are delicious, nutritious, and fun.
- Understatement of the year, “It smells a little bit like poop in here.” Stifler.
Post your starting 13 on the board before the first game puck drop.
Let the games begin!
Oct 1 at Sun Peaks
- Post your leaving times on the board for car pooling.
- Need directions? Ask Fulty.
- Bring your clubs as Saturday looks OK for golfing (snow forecast for Monday) At least we’ve got the hottub and the Floating Tray of Wings. And there’s always the go-karts (Derko has been practicing and apparently has a “short-cut” all mapped out.)
- Friday night will be the reveal of Team Chordan as “W” makes his picks from our cuts (preceded and followed by drinking and witless mockery)
- Orv has posted the menu of what we need to bring. Check the board for this.
- GoJo’s looking after the trade papers again? (Don’t know why this isn’t EZ’s forte?) Remember to pick up a Booze of the Year so we don’t have to use “Windex” as the pool sign in this year.
- BBQ Saturday night followed meat sweats and the draft – we will try to facetime Rolphy in from whatever he is doing. (wedding? prison? locked inside walk-in freezer?) If not, EZ’s to blame for his draft (wouldn’t want to be you, EZ, when Rolphy sees you took Zarley Zalapski in the 2nd round!)
- Here’s the break-down of what is owed or owing for the coming year. Also bring enough cash to cover the cost of the rental (and Fulty’s always escalating “finder’s fee,” and the “West Fraser Colour Printer Cartridge Replenishment Fee.”)
|Won in 15-16||Fees for 16-17||World Cup $||Win (Owe)|
|JBR||0||Paid through 16-17||0||0|
|Stifler||0||Paid through 16-17||0||0|
|Chordan||0||120 to pay through 18-19||0||(120)|
Anything else? Put it on the board.