Week 1: And We’re Off!

Week 1 kicked off with lots of cheap rookies now playing in place of more expensive options in the new salary cap era.

Opening night saw the Habs dress rookie D-Man Arber Xhekaj. While he’s never been a point-getter anywhere he’s played, his value in Scrabble is huge!

Cole Caufield was hot in the Habs first game, scoring 2 goals; prompting this from twitter:

Eighteen-year-old, 1st overall pick in ’22, Juraj Slafkovsky made his rookie debut for the Habs. They brought in his Slovakian countryman, Richard Zednik to provide support.

Zednik was brought into the Habs dressing room to welcome Slafkovsky and teach him how to tie his shoes.

SHRAPNEL

Answer at bottom

Makar’s day with the Cup in Calgary

GRAB A SOUVENIR!

The University of Tennessee got a last-second field goal to defeat rival Alabama on Saturday afternoon; it marked the first time in 16 years that the Vols had beat their conference rival. How do you celebrate? Tear down the goalposts and take them to your dorm room.

MLB PLAYOFFS

The San Diego Padres beat the LA Dodgers the other night and Padre fans were gracious.

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• In case you forgot, the officepools password: snakejuice
• Why snakejuice? Because PeanutButterWhiskey was too long.
• Vinny sat in 1st after the Europe games, but that was about it for him and he finished last – at least he gets the first pick-up of the year.
• Of the four teams that had 20 player points, Team Orv went 2-0-1, Rolphy went 1-1-1, while D & H went oh-fer. Comes down to the schedule gods.
• Last year’s champ Fulty sits in 1st with newbies JBR & Stifler; it’s the first time the 2014 expansion cousins have been atop the standings…enjoy it!

STANDINGS – WEEK 1

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	PWk	TP	AVG	%
Fulty	3	3	0	0	6	35	35	35.0	1.000
JBR	3	3	0	0	6	35	35	35.0	1.000
Stifler	3	3	0	0	6	31	31	31.0	1.000
Team Orv	3	2	0	1	5	20	20	20.0	0.833
eZ	3	2	1	0	4	33	33	33.0	0.667
T-Man	3	2	1	0	4	30	30	30.0	0.667
Erty	3	2	1	0	4	22	22	22.0	0.667
Rolphy	3	1	1	1	3	20	20	20.0	0.500
GnR	3	1	2	0	2	22	22	22.0	0.333
Cordy	3	1	2	0	2	21	21	21.0	0.333
Derko	3	0	3	0	0	20	20	20.0	0.000
Haukster	3	0	3	0	0	20	20	20.0	0.000
R&S	3	0	3	0	0	18	18	18.0	0.000
Vinny	3	0	3	0	0	15	15	15.0	0.000

HOUSEKEEPING ITEMS

• Cut-Down Day Nov. 6th at midnight (end of week 4). You’ll have to set your 25 rostered players (13 active, 12 on bench,) 5 on the Prospects List, and the rest are cut.
• When posting on the board, just list your cuts and prospects; make a separate post for your starting lineup changes for Week 5. It keeps Fulty & Erty from calling you out.
• Every GM (except one) has paid for the year.

WHOSE CARD WAS THAT?

Hail Cesare!

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…  

Just one last comment on Draft ’22. It was a fantastic weekend and thanks to Derko for hosting and doing much of the heavy lifting for this event. Next year we will hire a professional cook, cleaning staff, a bartender, and a pool boy/girl/person/bitch to make it an even better event. If we can’t afford all of these, the person who finished last in the standings will have to provide these services.

After this picture surfaced, the Sun Peaks Hot Tub Assoc. suggested a structural engineer be added to the OFHL Draft staff for next year.

Question: What’s going on with T-Man?

Week 23: Two To Go

First up, WE ARE IN THE WORLD CUP!

The last time Canada was in the World Cup, a young Larry Robinson hoisted le Coupe Stanley for the Habs.

Bob, Larry, & Mats celebrate with some fan who loves smelling Robinson’s armpit.

TRADE DEADLINE SHRAPNEL

LOTS OF GOALS THIS WEEK

She should have bet her birthday money on the over

Oilers’ social media didn’t want to talk about the 9-6 loss to the Flames on Saturday.

PENGUINS 11 RED WINGS 2

First time a team has scored 11 goals in a game in the salary cap era

JUST SEND JUSTIN

Always finish your checks, kids. Especially if you’re the puck carrier. (Click the play button; you’ll thank me later.)

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• Big Week: Tman with 53 points.
• No movement with the top 3 as they all went 3-0
• Fulty’s magic number to clinch 1st is 4; a combo of his wins and R&S losses
• R&S’s number to clinch is 9 (their wins and F’s losses)
• T-Man’s number is 9 (his wins and F’s losses)
• EZ will finish 4th at worst; Still has a slim shot at 1,2, or 3
• Vinny’s finishing 5th.
• Cordy jumped up 2 spots; Team Orv jumped up one.
• Stifler gets the last pickup of the year. This one can’t be traded as we’re past the trade deadline
• Next week will be the regular season’s penultimate week. Look it up.
• Playoffs start in 3 weeks.

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
1. Fulty	69	55	12	2	112	825	35.9	0.812	.	3	0	0	50
2. R&S	69	53	14	2	108	803	34.9	0.783	.	3	0	0	50
3. Tman	69	52	14	3	107	821	35.7	0.775	.	3	0	0	53
4. EZ	69	48	16	5	101	783	34.0	0.732	.	2	1	0	48
5. Vinny	69	40	26	3	83	669	29.1	0.601	.	0	2	1	39
6. TeamOrv	69	30	35	4	64	651	28.3	0.464	.	1	1	1	39
7. Rolphy	69	30	36	3	63	656	28.5	0.457	.	1	2	0	32
8. Derko	69	27	38	4	58	623	27.1	0.420	.	2	1	0	40
9. JBR	69	23	41	5	51	626	27.2	0.370	.	0	3	0	34
10. Cordy	69	21	44	4	46	617	26.8	0.333	.	2	1	0	43
11. Erty	69	21	44	4	46	562	24.4	0.333	.	0	3	0	26
12. Haukster	69	21	44	4	46	504	21.9	0.333	.	0	3	0	22
13. GnR	69	20	48	1	41	573	24.9	0.297	.	2	1	0	38
14. Stifler	69	19	48	2	40	545	23.7	0.290	.	1	2	0	28

AVERAGES – Tman – best fwards; Rolphy – best rook; R&S – best D; EZ – best goalie; Fulty – best vet & best overall

AVGS	T	F	&	V	J	E	Z	D	C	S	H	O	R	G
Fwards	1	2	3	10	5	13	4	7	6	12	14	8	9	11
Rook	11	2	10	3	7	14	4	5	11	13	7	9	1	6
Vet	4	1	11	3	2	14	9	13	6	8	10	5	7	12
D	5	3	1	6	10	7	2	12	10	13	14	9	4	8
Goal	10	7	5	7	13	2	1	2	9	11	6	4	14	12
Tot	2	1	3	5	8	12	4	9	10	13	14	7	6	11

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…  

Week 17 – Lots to Discuss: Olympics, Oilers, Fulty in 1st…

THE OLYMPICS ARE IN PROGRESS… and, um, there no problems so far?

• First place: Gold
• Second place: Silver
• Third place: Bronze
• Criticize China: Incinerator

MEANWHILE, IN EDMONTON…

Tip Overboard! Holland & Nicholson next!

Great article in The Athletic about “The Wednesday Game” where Former baseball MVP and BC-boy Justin Morneau creates an icy ‘Field of Dreams’ in Minnesota. Check the video below. It’ll bring back memories of Haukster’s awesome rink, T-Man’s Microns, and the Panago delivery boy.

Ex NHLers Wes Walz, Mark Parrish, Paul Martin, Dustin Byfuglien amongst others, get together weekly to play some shinny and chirp each other. If you have time, read the full article from Michael Russo and Dan Hayes on The Athletic: https://bit.ly/TheWednesdayGame or just look at the pictures.

Brings back memories of days gone by…

Haukster Community Arena circa 2010

Habs are BAD!

from the fultyfiles

Taoistic Tuukka Rask Retires

Haukster grabbed Rask in the 3rd round in 2006, one pick after he took Habs goalie Cristobal Huet. He kept the better tender.

Rask finds out he was drafted by Haukster.

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• New leader as Fulty jumps into first; first time this year he has been in 1st.
• He was in 7th in week 3 but has consistently climbed, never dropping back in any week since then; He’s on a 15-0 run
• Fulty had the big week of 36 points, helped by a 10-point Sunday
• R&S just 1 point behind
• EZ claws back some ground from R&S; 3 pts back of top spot
• Tman and Vinny gain no ground
• Haukster holding down last playoff spot
• Besides F, all these teams moved up one spot in the standings: C, D, E, J, & R: Haukster dropped 4 spots
• Pick up goes to a lottery. A 6 is rolled so the week 18 pick up goes to Cordy.

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
1. Fulty	51	39	10	2	80	580	34.1	0.784	.	3	0	0	36
2. R&S	51	39	11	1	79	536	31.5	0.775	.	1	2	0	25
3. EZ	51	37	11	3	77	552	32.5	0.755	.	2	1	0	27
4. Tman	51	35	13	3	73	564	33.2	0.716	.	1	2	0	30
5. Vinny	51	31	19	1	63	473	27.8	0.618	.	1	2	0	20
6. Rolphy	51	22	26	3	47	462	27.2	0.461	.	3	0	0	32
7. Orv	51	22	27	2	46	445	26.2	0.451	.	2	1	0	26
8. JBR	51	20	28	3	43	445	26.2	0.422	.	3	0	0	32
9. Derko	51	18	29	4	40	415	24.4	0.392	.	1	1	1	24
10. Erty	51	19	31	1	39	404	23.8	0.382	.	2	1	0	28
11. Haukster	51	18	31	2	38	378	22.2	0.373	.	0	3	0	16
12. Cordy	51	14	33	4	32	416	24.5	0.314	.	1	1	1	24
13. Stifler	51	14	35	2	30	388	22.8	0.294	.	0	3	0	18
14. GNR	51	13	37	1	27	392	23.1	0.265	.	0	3	0	16

AVERAGES 

	T	F	&	V	J	E	Z	D	C	S	H	O	R	G
Forw	1	2	3	8	6	14	4	9	5	10	12	7	11	12
Rook	11	6	10	2	6	14	4	4	12	13	9	8	1	3
Vet	3	7	11	3	1	13	8	12	5	9	10	6	2	14
Dmn	5	2	1	6	11	7	4	14	13	10	12	9	3	8
Goal	9	7	4	7	11	2	1	3	9	13	6	4	14	11
Tot	2	1	4	5	7	11	3	10	9	13	14	7	6	12

THAT’S ALL FOR THIS WEEK BUT REMEMBER, TAX SEASON IS HERE

“So should I wait for my T-4 forms before filing, or is my lifeline so short that I won’t make it through tax season? By the way, you have nice breasts.”

Week 12: Fulty wins the Battle with T-Man…

But will he win the war? With only 5 weeks to go it may come down to their meeting on the last week of the season – and it looks like it will be a super “SuperWeek.”

WEEKLY SHRAPNEL

Connor McDavid got some help in paying off his $5k fine for the elbow to Kotkaniemi.

This lady (who still can’t believe the Habs selected Jesperi) has already donated twice.

But if we’re talking elbows, check out below the “Mother of All Elbows” as Pavel Bure destroys Shane Churla after he had enough of the the refs not calling Churla’s hack & whack shenanigans.

https://gfycat.com/alarmingambitiouskilldeer

Bure’s punishment? $500

THE WEEK IN BULLETS

• Vinny had the big week with 41 points
• 3-0 weeks by Fulty, Vinny, Erty, Derko, & Cordy
• T-Man & Fulty tied with 64 pts but T-Man gets 1st with 20 more total points
• Battle for the other $$$ spots is close with Vinny, R&S, JBR, & Erty all having a shot at the $$$; Derko has an outside shot. C’mon guys, somebody go for it please!
• Big Movers: Vinny up 2 spots to 3rd; Derko up one spot to 7th
• 2 more weeks to trade deadline April18th
• GoJo grabbed Jack Campbell TO with the pick up
• Pick up for wk 12 goes to lottery and GoJo gets it again as a 2 was rolled

STANDINGS

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
T	36	32	4	0	64	459	38.3	0.889	T	2	1	0	26
F	36	32	4	0	64	439	36.6	0.889	H	3	0	0	37
V	36	23	12	1	47	358	29.8	0.653	I	3	0	0	41
&	36	22	13	1	45	373	31.1	0.625	S	1	1	1	27
J	36	21	14	1	43	371	30.9	0.597	.	0	3	0	23
E	36	20	15	1	41	353	29.4	0.569	W	3	0	0	25
D	36	18	17	1	37	355	29.6	0.514	E	3	0	0	31
Z	36	17	19	0	34	335	27.9	0.472	E	0	3	0	23
C	36	16	19	1	33	325	27.1	0.458	K	3	0	0	31
H	36	13	21	2	28	305	25.4	0.389	.	1	1	1	27
S	36	13	23	0	26	287	23.9	0.361	.	1	2	0	27
O	36	10	26	0	20	291	24.3	0.278	.	0	3	0	22
R	36	8	28	0	16	284	23.7	0.222	.	0	3	0	23
G	36	3	33	0	6	217	18.1	0.083	.	0	3	0	16

March Madness Wraps up on Monday Night

If you are a fan of the roundball, two #1 teams are meeting up as Gonzaga takes on Baylor. If the UCLA-Zags OT thriller on Saturday was any indication Monday’s game will be must-watch!

Week 13 – Will 2018 be the Year of the Derko?

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let’s take a short pause for reflection…

Half-way through this season and Derko is on top. The Napkin picked him 2nd and Fulty 1st. In fact, the Napkin has F, D, V, C, & H finishing 1st to 5th. Fairly accurate with T-Man replacing Cordy in the current top 5. It’s also got 4 of 5 correct in the mid-tier, and nailed the bottom-tier thus far. Who knows what Orv actually does when he goes to the bathroom, but there is no disputing his powers of prognostication. Side note: he did pick himself to finish last. #FallingforDahlin2018

RIP Johnny Bower #1 who passed away on Monday. If you saw any of that old footage of him in the Maple Leafs net in the ’60s, you have to wonder why anyone would want to play goal back in the day of no masks & poor equipment. Amazing how a 5’9″ guy could post a 0.921 career save % playing back in the day.

The Spengler Cup – the best tournament you never watch just concluded with Team Canada beating Team Swiss in the final. Get used to these household names, Zach Boychuk, Maxim Noreau, David McIntyre & Kevin Poulin as these guys are our Olympic Team.

Get ready for a steady dose of PA Parenteau & some guys who have played in Europe for the past 13 years

THE WEEK THAT WAS

• Fulty has the big week with 42.25 pts
• Now does Fulty do it? Back-loaded his roster to have 11 guys playing on Sunday. No one else had more than 8.
• Also going 3-0 were T-Man, Erty, & GoJo
• Big mover: Fulty jumped up 2 spots to 2nd
• Fulty, Vinny, & T-Man are all tied with 54 points
• GoJo & Fulty were the hottest teams in December as both went 9-3
• Orv went 0-for December
• R&S picked up Danton Heinen from BOS; Orv gets the next pick-up as a 4 was rolled

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

POTW should go to 2005 Team Canada WJC standout Jeff Glass. Glass, now 32, got his first start this past week for the Blackhawks and beat the Oilers 4-3. Who was on Team Canada 2005? Sidney Crosby, Ryan Getzlaf, Patrice Bergeron, Corey Perry, Brent Seabrook, Shea Weber. Thank you NHL lockout.

In a “Johnny Bower” moment, Glass became just the fifth goaltender over the last 30 years to make their debut at the age of 32 or older. Now that’s perseverance.

The Sens 2004 3rd round pick finally made it. Glass fine-tuned his craft in the ECHL, AHL, and KHL for over 13 years, playing for six different KHL clubs over a seven-year span.

Or this guy…

Finland’s goalie and a trainer had to take the escalator at Buffalo’s Key Bank Center.  It appears both of them are going for the gold.

But it goes to T-Man’s Connor Hellebuyck WPG who notched 8 points.

FROM THE VAULT

End the year with the worst 3rd jersey in NHL history…

2009 MONTREAL CANADIENS 1912-13 THROWBACKS
Looking more like the uniform of a 1920s chain gang rock breaker than a legendary hockey team, this tribute to Montreal’s centennial season was so ugly that coach Bob Gainey refused to let his team wear it a second time after its Feb. 1, 2009 debut against the Bruins.

Boston’s Shawn Thornton stated,  “I was really concerned about it in warmup. When there were 23 guys skating around, I was dizzy.”

SHRAPNEL

Americans don’t understand hockey. That’s especially true of the Stats Dept. at NBC

Taylor Hall is #15? Brett Connolly is #44 and plays D? Apparently Donald Trump’s Fact Checker works for NBC.

STANDINGS

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	PWk	TP	AVG	%
D	39	32	7	0	64	36.50	503.25	38.71	0.821
F	39	27	12	0	54	42.25	461.50	35.50	0.692
H	39	27	12	0	54	28.50	440.00	33.85	0.692
V	39	27	12	0	54	27.00	418.25	32.17	0.692
T	39	25	13	1	51	32.50	447.00	34.38	0.654
E	39	24	14	1	49	35.25	447.00	34.38	0.628
C	39	23	16	0	46	33.75	412.00	31.69	0.590
R	39	19	18	2	40	22.50	379.75	29.21	0.513
G	39	16	22	1	33	37.25	401.00	30.85	0.423
Z	39	12	25	2	26	22.50	364.75	28.06	0.333
S	39	12	26	1	25	29.25	338.50	26.04	0.321
J	39	12	27	0	24	16.25	353.00	27.15	0.308
O	39	9	30	0	18	13.25	314.50	24.19	0.231
&	39	4	35	0	8	27.50	288.25	22.17	0.103

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…