Week 13 – Can We Just Take a Moment for Connor Bedard?

This guy has skills, is fun to watch, and seems like a decent kid.

The goal against the Slovaks has already been turned into a Canadian Moment… and is available for only $499.

That’s definitely running through the minds of a few OFHL GMs, but it’s not that easy thanks to the “Rolphy Lottery” where every team is in the lottery for rd 1.

SHRAPNEL

Saros made 64 saves vs. Carolina this week, moving ahead of Gump Worsley.

SPEAKING OF THE GUMPER…

He was described as a lot of things:

• A short, fat, 50-year-old munchkin
• He appears to have some kind of apparent cognitive deficit
• Always looks like a child on Christmas morning.

When his coach accused him of having a beer belly, Gump responded with: “I only drink Scotch.”

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• Stifler has the big week with 45 points. Big dogs: Dahlin 8; Dubois 7
• 3-0 weeks for Stifler, Derko, and R&S
• Haukster gets his first win since October 30th
• Haukster wins 2 and doubles his number of wins this season.
• R&S moves up 2 spots to 2nd place; Stifler moves up 1 spot to 7th
• Vinny says goodbye to Stamkos after 15 years
• Vinny passed on a pick-up
• T-Man’s lead isn’t insurmountable but is anyone going to catch his with 10 weeks to go?
• Hottest team this past month? R&S on an 11-1 run
• Lottery for the pick-up again… a 3 is rolled do the Wk 13 pick-up goes to Haukster

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TPP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
T	39	30	7	2	62	487	37.5	0.795	.	2	1	0	38
&	39	27	11	1	55	472	36.3	0.705	.	3	0	0	42
Z	39	26	10	3	55	445	34.2	0.705	.	2	0	1	32
J	39	26	12	1	53	496	38.2	0.679	.	1	2	0	36
F	39	23	13	3	49	452	34.8	0.628	.	1	2	0	35
R	39	21	14	4	46	428	32.9	0.590	.	1	1	1	32
S	39	20	14	5	45	439	33.8	0.577	.	3	0	0	45
E	39	20	18	1	41	432	33.2	0.526	.	0	3	0	22
D	39	17	20	2	36	438	33.7	0.462	.	3	0	0	41
O	39	13	23	3	29	391	30.1	0.372	.	0	3	0	24
C	39	14	25	0	28	395	30.4	0.359	.	0	3	0	27
G	39	12	26	1	25	376	28.9	0.321	.	2	1	0	28
V	39	6	31	2	14	322	24.8	0.179	.	0	3	0	22
H	39	4	35	0	8	277	21.3	0.103	.	2	1	0	37

AND REMEMBER… 

If you can still fit your grad jacket you’re doing okay… even if you can’t do up the snaps.

Week 17 – Lots to Discuss: Olympics, Oilers, Fulty in 1st…

THE OLYMPICS ARE IN PROGRESS… and, um, there no problems so far?

• First place: Gold
• Second place: Silver
• Third place: Bronze
• Criticize China: Incinerator

MEANWHILE, IN EDMONTON…

Tip Overboard! Holland & Nicholson next!

Great article in The Athletic about “The Wednesday Game” where Former baseball MVP and BC-boy Justin Morneau creates an icy ‘Field of Dreams’ in Minnesota. Check the video below. It’ll bring back memories of Haukster’s awesome rink, T-Man’s Microns, and the Panago delivery boy.

Ex NHLers Wes Walz, Mark Parrish, Paul Martin, Dustin Byfuglien amongst others, get together weekly to play some shinny and chirp each other. If you have time, read the full article from Michael Russo and Dan Hayes on The Athletic: https://bit.ly/TheWednesdayGame or just look at the pictures.

Brings back memories of days gone by…

Haukster Community Arena circa 2010

Habs are BAD!

from the fultyfiles

Taoistic Tuukka Rask Retires

Haukster grabbed Rask in the 3rd round in 2006, one pick after he took Habs goalie Cristobal Huet. He kept the better tender.

Rask finds out he was drafted by Haukster.

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• New leader as Fulty jumps into first; first time this year he has been in 1st.
• He was in 7th in week 3 but has consistently climbed, never dropping back in any week since then; He’s on a 15-0 run
• Fulty had the big week of 36 points, helped by a 10-point Sunday
• R&S just 1 point behind
• EZ claws back some ground from R&S; 3 pts back of top spot
• Tman and Vinny gain no ground
• Haukster holding down last playoff spot
• Besides F, all these teams moved up one spot in the standings: C, D, E, J, & R: Haukster dropped 4 spots
• Pick up goes to a lottery. A 6 is rolled so the week 18 pick up goes to Cordy.

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
1. Fulty	51	39	10	2	80	580	34.1	0.784	.	3	0	0	36
2. R&S	51	39	11	1	79	536	31.5	0.775	.	1	2	0	25
3. EZ	51	37	11	3	77	552	32.5	0.755	.	2	1	0	27
4. Tman	51	35	13	3	73	564	33.2	0.716	.	1	2	0	30
5. Vinny	51	31	19	1	63	473	27.8	0.618	.	1	2	0	20
6. Rolphy	51	22	26	3	47	462	27.2	0.461	.	3	0	0	32
7. Orv	51	22	27	2	46	445	26.2	0.451	.	2	1	0	26
8. JBR	51	20	28	3	43	445	26.2	0.422	.	3	0	0	32
9. Derko	51	18	29	4	40	415	24.4	0.392	.	1	1	1	24
10. Erty	51	19	31	1	39	404	23.8	0.382	.	2	1	0	28
11. Haukster	51	18	31	2	38	378	22.2	0.373	.	0	3	0	16
12. Cordy	51	14	33	4	32	416	24.5	0.314	.	1	1	1	24
13. Stifler	51	14	35	2	30	388	22.8	0.294	.	0	3	0	18
14. GNR	51	13	37	1	27	392	23.1	0.265	.	0	3	0	16

AVERAGES 

	T	F	&	V	J	E	Z	D	C	S	H	O	R	G
Forw	1	2	3	8	6	14	4	9	5	10	12	7	11	12
Rook	11	6	10	2	6	14	4	4	12	13	9	8	1	3
Vet	3	7	11	3	1	13	8	12	5	9	10	6	2	14
Dmn	5	2	1	6	11	7	4	14	13	10	12	9	3	8
Goal	9	7	4	7	11	2	1	3	9	13	6	4	14	11
Tot	2	1	4	5	7	11	3	10	9	13	14	7	6	12

THAT’S ALL FOR THIS WEEK BUT REMEMBER, TAX SEASON IS HERE

“So should I wait for my T-4 forms before filing, or is my lifeline so short that I won’t make it through tax season? By the way, you have nice breasts.”

Week 15 – Why Are You So Pissy?

Things are tough in Oil Town, and they spilled over Tuesday when Jim Matheson (Hall of Fame reporter and Glen Sather’s personal lap dog) asked Leon Draisaitl why he was being “pissy” after Matheson didn’t get the response he wanted. Oilers’ Twitter came alive as many supported one side or the other, but the smart ones started selling T-Shirts.

Others hit the market as well: “Pissy Army”, “Pissy Nation”, “Pissy Mafia,”… pretty much anything “Pissy” is hot right now.

It’s Been A Cold December. (and January)

The Oilers went on their traditional December tailspin but kept it alive for January as well. Here’s a chart to help with perspective.

Only Cordy, Haukster, & the Habs have been worse.

Cordy & Haukster protest their teams’ poor performance in a typical teacher manner.

This guy’s table hockey game has Grapes giving it to D’Amico

Ex-OFHLer’s Son Does Good

For those of you who remember ex-OFHLer Warren Asuchak (aka WAsu) who was a GM from 1997 until 2005, here’s an article about his son, Spencer, who has carved out a nice little ECHL career. (link to story below pic)

https://www.phpa.com/news/2287

WAsu entered the OFHL with expansion cousin Orv, and was best known for 2 things: trying to finish ahead of Orv each year, and demanding his money back when he didn’t.

UPDATED SKED 

Here is the adjusted sked with the Olympic Break games scheduled. Things to note:

• Week 16 (this week) will run for 10 days (Jan 24-Feb 2) “Mini Super Week”
• No games Feb 3-6 (NHL All-Star Break)
• Weeks 17 & 18 added (both are normal Mon-Sun weeks)

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• Rolphy has the big week with 49 points and jumps up 2 spots to 6th place
• Rolphy’s D-men contributed with 19 points between the 3 of them
• Fulty & TMan gain a game on EZ
• EZ in first based on TP (Total Player Points) as he’s tied with R&S but has 21 more player points
• GnR slip back into last and get the pick up for this week

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
EZ	45	34	8	3	71	476	31.7	0.789	.	2	1	0	43
R&S	45	35	9	1	71	455	30.3	0.789	.	3	0	0	37
Fulty	45	33	10	2	68	479	31.9	0.756	.	3	0	0	45
TMan	45	31	11	3	65	473	31.5	0.722	.	3	0	0	46
Vinny	45	28	16	1	57	411	27.4	0.633	.	1	2	0	33
Rolphy	45	19	23	3	41	390	26.0	0.456	.	3	0	0	49
Haukster	45	18	25	2	38	331	22.1	0.422	.	0	3	0	21
Team Orv	45	17	26	2	36	378	25.2	0.400	.	0	3	0	31
Derko	45	16	26	3	35	359	23.9	0.389	.	1	2	0	30
Erty	45	17	27	1	35	347	23.1	0.389	.	1	2	0	32
JBR	45	15	27	3	33	358	23.9	0.367	.	1	2	0	24
Stifler	45	14	29	2	30	345	23.0	0.333	.	2	1	0	33
Cordy	45	11	31	3	25	352	23.5	0.278	.	1	2	0	33
GnR	45	12	32	1	25	331	22.1	0.278	.	0	3	0	31

AVERAGES 

	T	F	&	V	J	E	Z	D	C	S	H	O	R	G
Fwd	1	2	4	5	10	13	3	9	7	6	11	7	12	14
Rook	11	8	10	2	5	13	3	3	12	14	9	7	1	6
Vet	4	7	10	3	2	13	7	12	5	9	10	6	1	14
Dmen	5	2	1	6	10	8	3	14	13	9	12	10	4	7
Goal	8	10	5	6	12	1	3	2	9	13	6	4	14	10
Tot	3	1	4	5	9	11	2	8	10	12	13	7	6	13

Who’s Trending Up This Past Month?

• Forwards: Team Orv’s forwards have had their average move up the most in the past month
• Rookie: GnR
• Vet: R&S
• Dmen: JBR
• Goal: Vinny
• Overall: Fulty

UNTIL NEXT WEEK – Consider how good Ovie has been and continues to be.

Sens should catch Ovie early next year.

OFHL DRAFT 2021

Great to get back to Sun Peaks for an awesome weekend. Special thanks to Derko for building the OFHL Clubhouse in Sun Peaks; a truly amazing facility! Thanks for accommodating a dozen Neanderthals for the weekend. Also thanks to Fulty for organizing the golf, Haukster for connecting the remote GMs, and GoJo for organizing the food and designating a GM to look after each segment of the weekend. It all made for a relatively smooth weekend.

The only change to the rules was the adoption of a time-limit to the final pick in the slow draft – 12 hours. Fulty pushed the issue and the GMs collectively pushed back but all was good after a session of “Boys Kiss!”

Thomas?

Championship Trophies Presentations

Two years worth of OFHL trophies were presented.

Haukster’s pumped to get his 2nd Championship

The last 2 Derko Cup winners. Is there ever really a “winner?”

2020 Champion Haukster presents “The ORV” to 2021 champion T-Man

The OFHL’s Newest Trophy addition is presented to the OFHL Golf Tourny’s winning team, “The Bottom-Feeders” who somehow managed to go one under par even after 3 bottles of Peanut Butter Whisky. The yet un-named trophy was generously donated (stolen) from GoJo’s Ex #1.

The Electric Napkin

GoJo punched the lineups into his “MoneyPuck” algorithmic conflagrations and managed to predict Fulty to beat T-Man this coming season. The model, however, also predicts GoJo to finish 3 spots higher than would any sober eye-test.

That’s it boys. Season starts Tuesday Oct 12. Get your Krak-on!

Week 24 – Derko “T+1”

Ok, I could blab on about this being the “Penultimate Week” and how it all comes down to the last few games, but Big “D” wrapped it all up last week, so all that’s left is to get geared up for the playoffs. If you’ve forgotten how it works, here’s a refresher:

• Playoffs will run for the last two weeks of the NHL season
• Teams will continue to submit weekly rosters for the duration of the playoffs
• Total points for all playoff weeks used to determine playoff winners
• Playoffs will be tiered based on OFHL regular season final standings
  • Tier one – all teams that finished in the money at the end of the regular season
  • Tier two- those teams that finished out of the money but not in the bottom 4
  • Tier three – the bottom 4 teams in the regular season
• The winners of each playoff tier will win the following
  • Tier one – a draft pick at the end of the 5th round in the next year
  • Tier two – a draft pick at the end of the 4th round in the next year
  • Tier three – a draft pick at the end of the 3rd round in the next year
• In the case of a tie, a coin toss will determine the winner.

As it goes so far, the tiers would be as follows:

• Tier 1: Derko, Fulty, Haukster, T-Man, Vinny
• Tier 2: EZ, Rolphy, GoJo, Erty, Cordy
• Tier 3: R&S, Orv, JBR, Stifler

THE WEEK THAT WAS

• It was a great week as there were goals-a-plenty
• Haukster was all over this week as he had a mammoth week with 64.75 points
• JBR, with his respectable 31.5 points, finished last but in a normal week that’s a middle of the pack number
• Haukster jumped up one spot, vaulting past T-Man to 3rd
• To finish 2nd, Fulty’s magic number is 1
• Hauks magic number to finish 3rd is 1
• T-man’s magic number to finish 4th is 2
• Vinny’s number is 3 to grab the last $ spot
• Cordy went 3-0 and now sits just 2 points behind Vinny for the last $ spot. “C’mon Vinny! Get your sh*t together! Cordy’s won enough.”
• Rolphy, GoJo, & eZ are in a tanking battle as they’re all within 2 points of each other
• Orv & JBR are in a tanking battle of their own

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Haukster’s Pietrangelo had 12! points for undisputed POTW honors.

Here Alex explains nicknames to the Blues rooks.

Evander Kane celebrates his 4 goal game Friday night vs. Flames with Sharks leaders Brent Burns & Joe Pavelski.

Burns: “Good job tonight, Kaner.”
Pavelski: “Awesome! What got into you tonight?”
Kane: “My agent told me I get an extra 100K for a hatty, 250K for a 4th.”
Burns & Pavelski look at each other.
Pavelski nods to Burns.
Burns throws Kane’s clothes in the shower.
Dustin Byfuglien smiles.

FROM THE VAULT

March Madness is in full swing. Love this tournament! This is the big dance that started the whole idea of the “Cinderella” team, that plucky underdog that takes out a big-time program. You’ll note the clip is in black & white. You’re not going blind, like Nashville’s mascot (see: last week.)

 

Ah yes, plucky little City College of New York, 1950. The same school that was engulfed in a point-shaving scandal in, you guessed it, 1951. So even Cinderella is a filthy money-grabber when it comes to college basketball programs.

If you’re Mennonite, here’s the only playoff bracket that matters. (for T-Man, Derko, Stimpy only) menno-march-madness-bracket.

SHRAPNEL

Pocock, aka “Dinky”, aka “6” attends the Canucks v. Sharks game Saturday, and waited desperately for a Nucks hat-trick.

STANDINGS

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	PWk	TP	AVG	%
D	72	59	13	0	118	47.50	946.50	39.44	0.819
F	72	51	20	1	103	41.75	872.75	36.36	0.715
H	72	49	23	0	98	64.75	842.25	35.09	0.681
T	72	46	25	1	93	33.25	855.00	35.63	0.646
V	72	45	27	0	90	34.50	795.50	33.15	0.625
C	72	44	28	0	88	49.25	810.75	33.78	0.611
E	72	37	34	1	75	44.75	782.00	32.58	0.521
G	72	30	41	1	61	32.75	739.75	30.82	0.424
R	72	29	41	2	60	31.75	699.50	29.15	0.417
Z	72	28	41	3	59	41.25	701.50	29.23	0.410
S	72	25	46	1	51	33.00	637.50	26.56	0.354
J	72	21	50	1	43	31.50	654.25	27.26	0.299
O	72	20	51	1	41	34.50	608.00	25.33	0.285
R&S	72	14	58	0	28	35.25	555.75	23.16	0.194

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…

If you have time to read (and the ability to discern poly-syllabic words) the following may prove interesting.

How a Calgary junior hockey journeyman became an alleged drug kingpin

When NHL rinks outlast their usefulness

When Winter Never Ends – How five days in February reveal what Seattle’s signing of Ichiro cannot. The future Hall of Famer is haunted by the life he can’t escape.

But, if you’re not a reader, and wonder if this hockey pool is 100% legal, check this out: