Playoff Champ(s) and Season Review

Congrats to the OFHL Playoff Pool Winners

• ELITE EIGHT Playoff Winner – ROLPHY wins a 4th rd pick in ’24. Takes a one-point win over R&S

• B Side Winner – Congrats to GnR who beats Fulty 16-13 to grab a 5th rd pick in ’24

9-11 POOL WINNER

• Erty had 15 pts for a 3-week total of 90 pts. He wins the 9-11 pool and gets a 3rd rd pick in ’24
• Team ORV ended with 87 points
• EZ ended up with 72 points

DRAFT LOTTERY WILL BE HELD VERY SOON. GET YOUR BALLS READY!

• Vinny 14 balls
• Haukster 13
• Vinny (from T-Man) 12
• EZ 11
• Team Orv 10
• Erty 9
• GnR 8
• Fulty 7
• Cordy 6
• JBR 5
• Cordy (from Stifler) 4
• EZ (from Rolphy) 3
• T-Man (from Derko) 2
• R&S 1

Vinny chose to “Suck Weeny for Celebrini,” but will the draft lottery balls cooperate?

THE NEXT ONE?

Based on statistics, which don’t lie by the way, R&S now has the 2nd and 3rd best young dmen in the OFHL.

IT’S DEBATABLE

Why does every photo of Austin Matthews look like he just finished starring in “To Catch a Predator”?

THE CURSE IS REAL!!

WELL, THAT’S IT. THE 2023-24 SEASON COMES TO AN END

Here’s a recap on the PATH TO GREATNESS as provided by the latest Champs. (Click on image and enlarge for clearer version)

Thanks to all who contributed to the pool in any way; especially to ERTY for the weekly Officepools changes, and to FULTY for keeping the files up to date, and adding content to the weekly updates – even if much of it has to be censored or edited to make it SFW.

ENJOY THE NHL PLAYOFFS! SEE YOU ALL IN SEPTEMBER AT SUN PEAKS!

Playoffs – Week 1

Week 1 of the OFHL Playoffs saw the top 4 teams in the regular season move on into round 2 of the ELITE EIGHT Pool. It’s now Sudde-Death as the loser of this round is eliminated. The winner of the A side gets a 4th rd pick.

B SIDE – Losres of the 1st round go into the B Side. It’s also Sudden-Death as the loser of this round is eliminated. The winner of the B Side gets a 5th rd pick

In the 9-11 Pool (which is being scrapped for next year, because, let’s face it, why should a team that wins less than 30% of their games be in a playoff for a chance for a 3rd rounder – yeah, we’re talking about you, EZ! What were we thinking?) Anyways… After 1 week:

• Erty leads with 42 pts
• Team ORV next with 36
• EZ brings up the rear with 33

Looking Back on “Strait from Rolphy”

Last week we forgot to look back on the Napkin’s predictions, so, in the tradition of Orv’s predictive “Napkin,” Rolphy submitted his own attempt at fore-telling the results for the OFHL season. Let’s see how he did:

He was actually bang on for three predictions: R&S at #1, Futy #7, and Team Orv at # 10. His biggest misses were T-Man (predicted for 4th – finished 12th,) Cordy (predicted 13th; finished 6th,) and Derko (predicted 6th; finished 2nd.) In all, not a bad first season. Good work, Swami!

OL’ TIME HOCKEY

Rangers and Devils threw back to the NHL’s Neadrathal past this week as a full line brawl erupted at the start of the game. Shameful! They could learn something from the OFHL brothers.

Cordy wisely waited until his teammates EZ & Vinny started a rush before jumping Derko. It was all part of the team strategy suggested by their coach Chico, aka “The Shoveler.”

Who’s faster? MacKinnon or McDavid?
byu/ElJordanos innhl

FEDOTOV ARRIVES IN PHILLY

Ivan Fedotov escaped the Russian Gulag and is now suiting up for the Flyers. By playing a game, he has become the tallest NHL goalie ever, standing 6’8″. Also, here’s 5’5″ Darren Pang for reference.

Nick Foligno’s sons at Blackhawks practice
byu/Hockey-Daily innhl

SID THE MIDDLE-AGED KID

NHL SALARIES – 1990 STYLE

Most were still being paid in Canadian dollars.

Even adjusted for inflation, poor Dave McLlwain was making $230K Cdn, or the same as JBR’s weekly billing.

FROM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE

SKINNER JOINS 1000 GAME CLUB

Small problem, Skinner takes the dubious honor of being the first NHL player to play 1000 games without playing a playoff game.

STATS GUY IS ON HIS GAME

Somewhere in Mexico Gojo is giggling.

Forgot to Mention… Here’s the DRAFT LOTTERY BALLS FOR ’24

• Vinny 14 balls
• Haukster 13
• Vinny (from T-Man) 12
• EZ 11
• Team Orv 10
• Erty 9
• GnR 8
• Fulty 7
• Cordy 6
• JBR 5
• Cordy (from Stifler) 4
• EZ (from Rolphy) 3
• T-Man (from Derko) 2
• R&S 1

BUSCEMI FAMILY PORTRAIT

Pretty sure Steve Buscemi has watched a hockey game before. Therefore this pic is relevant and we’ll park it right here.

WEEK 23 – The Penultimate Week!

Sounds more exciting than it really is since Ren & Stimpy clinched THE ORV trophy last week. But this week Derko clinched 2nd place and his 4th Derko Cup ($180), while Rolphy clinched 3rd place ($120). All that’s left is to play for 4th place money and to see who makes the playoffs.

FROM THE NHL BOARD OF GOVERNOR’S MEETINGS

JERSEY FOUL

There’s no stopping Connor Draisaitl!

WHAT’S WITH THE WHL TREND OF REBRANDING JERSEYS?

Saskatoon Blades become the Saskatoon Berries for a one night rebrand

Prince Albert Raiders … er, Cobra Chickens!

The Swift Current Broncos even rebranded their city; Lake Diefenbaker Slough Sharks (anyone ever caught a Northern Pike? Those teeth are nasty!)

MORE NEWS FROM THE DUB

OFHL PLAYOFF TRIP TO THE PIG?

MORE MCKENNA HYPE

That Gretzky kid was pretty good at the hockey

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STICKS??

CONSPIRACY THEORY?

R&S clinched 1st but still wanted to send a message to Derko’s players that they don’t “have what it takes” to win. They enlist GnR’s 5’7″ goon to deliver that message.

RIP CHRIS SIMON

Avs Joe Sakic: “Chris was a great guy, a beloved teammate and very important part of our first championship season. He was the first person to always stand up for his teammates. Off the ice, he was an unbelievable guy and a caring father. He will be sorely missed.”

THE WEEKLY REVIEW

• Big Week: Cordy with 48
• 3-0 weeks from R&S, Cordy, Erty, and Team Orv
• Stinky Week: EZ with 20
• Haukster joins Vinny as the second team eliminated from the OFHL playoffs
• Movers: Stifler and Cordy moved up 1 spot
• Top Forward: McDavid 11 pts
• Top Rook: Luke Hughes with 6
• Top Vet: Tavares 8 pts
• Top D: Bouchard 8 pts
• Top G: Oettinger & Saros each with 6 pts
• HUGE BATTLE for the last $ spot coming up between the expansion cousins JBR & Stifler. Both tied with 82 Pts, but Stifler holds a 1 Total Player Point (TP) lead.

STANDINGS

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
1. R&S	69	60	8	1	121	912	39.7	0.877	.	3	0	0	47
2. Derko	69	49	17	3	101	855	37.2	0.732	.	2	1	0	44
3. Rolphy	69	46	22	1	93	813	35.3	0.674	.	1	2	0	42
S	69	39	26	4	82	782	34.0	0.594	.	1	2	0	38
J	69	39	26	4	82	781	34.0	0.594	.	0	3	0	40
C	69	36	30	3	75	753	32.7	0.543	.	3	0	0	48
G	69	35	30	4	74	731	31.8	0.536	.	2	1	0	44
F	69	34	31	4	72	757	32.9	0.522	.	2	1	0	41
E	69	33	33	3	69	723	31.4	0.500	.	3	0	0	45
O	69	26	40	3	55	701	30.5	0.399	.	3	0	0	43
Z	69	21	47	1	43	564	24.5	0.312	.	0	3	0	20
T	69	18	49	2	38	642	27.9	0.275	.	0	3	0	27
H	69	17	50	2	36	584	25.4	0.261	.	1	2	0	22
V	69	12	56	1	25	533	23.2	0.181	.	0	3	0	24

OFHL PLAYOFFS – Some changes to the OFHL Playoffs this year (except for the bottom 3 teams – you guys are DONE!)

Top 8 Playoff Pool – Teams finishing 1^st through 8^h in the OFHL regular season are in a head-to-head playoff pool. Week one will have teams 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5.  

• Week one winners will go into the “A” side of the pool while the week one losers will go into the “B” side of the pool.  
• Playoffs will continue head-to-head for week 2 and 3 until we have an “A” side winner and a “B” side winner 
• The “A” side winner will receive a pick at the end of the 4^th round in the next year. The “B” side winner will receive a pick at the end of the 5^th round. 

9-11 Pick Pool – Teams finishing 9^th through 11^th in the OFHL regular season are in a three-week total points pool. (changes allowed weekly) The winner receives a pick at the end of the 3^rd round in the next year. 

SPEAKING OF PLAYOFFS…

Last Week of the Regular Season coming up. Have a Gooder!

Week 13 – USA! USA!

Gold Medals are nice and all, but a year of Chipotle! C’mon!

Of all the WJC posts, this is probably the best.

Four goals in 51 seconds!

Even the Toronto Sun thinks T-Man’s players suck.

The No. 1 picks from the 2023 NBA & NHL drafts.

A foot and a half difference in height and a broken jaw.

WHOSE CARD? 

50 goal & 100 pt seasons, along with some decent PIMs.

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

Thanks to Fulty for sending out the updates. Always interesting to look over old drafts and trades. This is one of my favorite trades…

• Best week: Rolphy with 47 points
• Big Mover: Erty moves up one spot to 7th
• Top F: M. Tkachuk 8pts
• Top R: Lots tied at 2pts
• Top Vet: Hyman 6pts
• Top D: Makar 7pts
• Top G: Bobrovsky & Hellebuyck with 6pts
• The pick-up for Week 13 goes to T-Man as a 4 was rolled.

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
R&S	39	36	2	1	73	519	39.9	0.936	.	3	0	0	36
D	39	27	11	1	55	445	34.2	0.705	.	2	1	0	35
S	39	23	12	4	50	452	34.8	0.641	.	1	1	1	38
J	39	23	13	3	49	439	33.8	0.628	.	2	1	0	30
R	39	23	15	1	47	427	32.8	0.603	.	3	0	0	47
C	39	20	17	2	42	421	32.4	0.538	.	1	1	1	38
E	39	19	18	2	40	408	31.4	0.513	.	2	1	0	32
F	39	18	18	3	39	418	32.2	0.500	.	1	2	0	30
O	39	17	20	2	36	387	29.8	0.462	.	1	2	0	28
GnR	39	16	20	3	35	390	30.0	0.449	.	2	1	0	30
H	39	12	25	2	26	344	26.5	0.333	.	1	2	0	26
Z	39	12	27	0	24	321	24.7	0.308	.	0	3	0	13
T	39	9	29	1	19	360	27.7	0.244	.	0	3	0	25
V	39	5	33	1	11	289	22.2	0.141	.	1	2	0	28

WHOSE CARD WAS IT? 

OFHL HISTORICAL QUOTES 

AND FINALLY, FOR ANY OF YOU WONDERING WHEN TO RETIRE… 

Week 18 – Events, Milestones, & Killing Tim(e)

Lots of big events this week; first up, kudos to the Canadian Women’s Hockey team that took its 5th Gold in the last six Olympics!

Did you know? Canada has now won Olympic Gold in Women’s Hockey and Soccer in the last 6th months. Not too shabby.

From Gold to Silver: Doughty played his 1000th game this week and was honoured before the game with the Oilers. The tribute went a little long, but Doughty thanked the Oilers for waiting. “I know it sucks watching this.” Tyson Barrie was caught on a hot mic several times in the game giving his own tribute…

• Thought they give you a silver stick for a thousand?
• Is that tin foil?
• No wonder you love LA. Worst player on the team gets a $10m contract.

Jagr’s 50

“Well, when you’re 30 and saying you’re going to play until 50, some other people are laughing because they don’t really know. And I knew it. I’m built differently.” — Jaromir Jagr

Crosby Gets his 500th

Quite the list

from the hauksterfiles

From the fultyfiles

Seattle’s Women’s Team Jerseys

JERSEY FOULS

Number 56 was always the target of the “Tiger Balm in the Jock” prank.

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• Big Week goes to TMan with 55
• Only T-Man and Fulty had 3-0 weeks
• No change up top as the Big 4 hold their positions
• JBR holds the last Tier 1 playoff spot ahead of Derko & Erty
• Only one team moved up as the braintrust of Chico & Neuf pushed Team Orv up to 6th.
• Pick-up goes to a Lottery again and a “1” was rolled so the Week 18 pick-up goes to GnR

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
1. Fulty	54	42	10	2	86	626	34.8	0.796	.	3	0	0	46
2. R&S	54	41	12	1	83	580	32.2	0.769	.	2	1	0	44
3. eZ	54	39	11	4	82	586	32.6	0.759	.	2	0	1	34
4. TMan	54	38	13	3	79	619	34.4	0.731	.	3	0	0	55
5. Vinny	54	32	20	2	66	497	27.6	0.611	.	1	1	1	24
6. TeamOrv	54	24	28	2	50	483	26.8	0.463	.	2	1	0	38
7. Rolphy	54	23	28	3	49	495	27.5	0.454	.	1	2	0	33
8. JBR	54	20	30	4	44	479	26.6	0.407	.	0	2	1	34
9. Derko	54	18	32	4	40	447	24.8	0.370	.	0	3	0	32
10. Erty	54	19	33	2	40	428	23.8	0.370	.	0	2	1	24
11. Haukster	54	18	34	2	38	394	21.9	0.352	.	0	3	0	16
12. Cordy	54	15	35	4	34	442	24.6	0.315	.	1	2	0	26
13. Stifler	54	16	36	2	34	419	23.3	0.315	.	2	1	0	31
14. GnR	54	15	38	1	31	429	23.8	0.287	.	2	1	0	37

AVERAGES 

AVGS	T	F	&	V	J	E	Z	D	C	S	H	O	R	G
F	1	2	3	9	5	13	4	8	6	10	14	6	11	12
R	11	2	10	2	7	14	5	5	12	12	9	8	1	2
V	1	6	11	4	2	13	7	12	8	9	10	5	3	14
D	5	2	1	6	11	7	3	13	12	10	14	9	4	7
G	9	8	4	7	11	2	1	3	9	13	6	5	14	11
Tot	2	1	4	5	8	12	3	9	10	13	14	7	6	11

Until Next Week…Stay Safe, Tim.