Playoffs – Week 1

Week 1 of the OFHL Playoffs saw the top 4 teams in the regular season move on into round 2 of the ELITE EIGHT Pool. It’s now Sudde-Death as the loser of this round is eliminated. The winner of the A side gets a 4th rd pick.

B SIDE – Losres of the 1st round go into the B Side. It’s also Sudden-Death as the loser of this round is eliminated. The winner of the B Side gets a 5th rd pick

In the 9-11 Pool (which is being scrapped for next year, because, let’s face it, why should a team that wins less than 30% of their games be in a playoff for a chance for a 3rd rounder – yeah, we’re talking about you, EZ! What were we thinking?) Anyways… After 1 week:

• Erty leads with 42 pts
• Team ORV next with 36
• EZ brings up the rear with 33

Looking Back on “Strait from Rolphy”

Last week we forgot to look back on the Napkin’s predictions, so, in the tradition of Orv’s predictive “Napkin,” Rolphy submitted his own attempt at fore-telling the results for the OFHL season. Let’s see how he did:

He was actually bang on for three predictions: R&S at #1, Futy #7, and Team Orv at # 10. His biggest misses were T-Man (predicted for 4th – finished 12th,) Cordy (predicted 13th; finished 6th,) and Derko (predicted 6th; finished 2nd.) In all, not a bad first season. Good work, Swami!

OL’ TIME HOCKEY

Rangers and Devils threw back to the NHL’s Neadrathal past this week as a full line brawl erupted at the start of the game. Shameful! They could learn something from the OFHL brothers.

Cordy wisely waited until his teammates EZ & Vinny started a rush before jumping Derko. It was all part of the team strategy suggested by their coach Chico, aka “The Shoveler.”

Who’s faster? MacKinnon or McDavid?
byu/ElJordanos innhl

FEDOTOV ARRIVES IN PHILLY

Ivan Fedotov escaped the Russian Gulag and is now suiting up for the Flyers. By playing a game, he has become the tallest NHL goalie ever, standing 6’8″. Also, here’s 5’5″ Darren Pang for reference.

Nick Foligno’s sons at Blackhawks practice
byu/Hockey-Daily innhl

SID THE MIDDLE-AGED KID

NHL SALARIES – 1990 STYLE

Most were still being paid in Canadian dollars.

Even adjusted for inflation, poor Dave McLlwain was making $230K Cdn, or the same as JBR’s weekly billing.

FROM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE

SKINNER JOINS 1000 GAME CLUB

Small problem, Skinner takes the dubious honor of being the first NHL player to play 1000 games without playing a playoff game.

STATS GUY IS ON HIS GAME

Somewhere in Mexico Gojo is giggling.

Forgot to Mention… Here’s the DRAFT LOTTERY BALLS FOR ’24

• Vinny 14 balls
• Haukster 13
• Vinny (from T-Man) 12
• EZ 11
• Team Orv 10
• Erty 9
• GnR 8
• Fulty 7
• Cordy 6
• JBR 5
• Cordy (from Stifler) 4
• EZ (from Rolphy) 3
• T-Man (from Derko) 2
• R&S 1

BUSCEMI FAMILY PORTRAIT

Pretty sure Steve Buscemi has watched a hockey game before. Therefore this pic is relevant and we’ll park it right here.

Week 2 – Stifler Gets Robbed; What’s Up With T-Man & EZ?

JERSEY FOULS

The Vancouver Giants wore black-and-white striped jerseys Sunday night to show their appreciation for on-ice officials. Too bad they passed to the refs on every break-out.

Happy 50th Anniversary to Peter Puck, the NHIC cartoon that taught children the rules of hockey in a fun way.
The Peter Puck mascot was a regular fixture at Canucks games until he was violently attacked with his own skates in a PNE arena washroom by a young Erty.

Jesse Puljujärvi is ready to return to the NHL as he works his way back from offseason hip surgery.

🚨 GOALIE GOAL 🚨

Mathis Rousseau does it in the QMJHL! pic.twitter.com/QOjdTPXH7N

— Gregory Balloch (@GregBalloch) October 21, 2023

Let the OFHL debate on Goalie goals continue…

WHOSE CARD?  Tough one. This Saskatchewan boy won 2 Cups with the Flyers; wore #18 & a helmet.

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• Big week for Fulty with 44 points
• 3-0 weeks for F, R&S, JBR, and Rolphy
• Rolphy goes 3-0 with only 29 points while Stifler’s 32 points saw him go 0-3. Damn schedule maker!
• What is going on with T-Man & EZ who both sit at the bottom of the standings? Last year at this time they were first & third.
• EZ gets the week 2 pick-up
• Top F: Larkin – 9pts
• Top R: Evangelista – 3pts
• Top V: 3 tied with 5pts
• Top D: Gostisbehere – 6pts
• Top G: Georgiev – 8pts

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
&	6	6	0	0	12	77	38.5	1.000	.	3	0	0	37
F	6	6	0	0	12	76	38.0	1.000	.	3	0	0	44
J	6	5	1	0	10	72	36.0	0.833	.	3	0	0	40
O	6	4	2	0	8	67	33.5	0.667	.	2	1	0	39
D	6	4	2	0	8	52	26.0	0.667	.	1	2	0	24
E	6	3	2	1	7	57	28.5	0.583	.	2	1	0	33
C	6	3	3	0	6	59	29.5	0.500	.	2	1	0	36
R	6	3	3	0	6	53	26.5	0.500	.	3	0	0	29
S	6	2	3	1	5	56	28.0	0.417	.	0	3	0	32
G	6	2	4	0	4	46	23.0	0.333	.	0	3	0	21
H	6	2	4	0	4	45	22.5	0.333	.	1	2	0	25
V	6	1	5	0	2	34	17.0	0.167	.	1	2	0	22
T	6	0	6	0	0	51	25.5	0.000	.	0	3	0	28
Z	6	0	6	0	0	27	13.5	0.000	.	0	3	0	13

WHOSE CARD WAS IT? 

This sign welcomes you as you enter Watson, Sask. (pop.687). You can still see it as you leave Watson, Sask.

FAMOUS OFHL QUOTES 

From Draft 2014:

STIFLER: I’m not a fan of my nickname, and I’m not cool with all the references to my mom.

FULTY: Okay. How about ‘Shitler’?

STIFLER: Stifler’s fine.

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…  

Cut-Down Day Nov. 5th at midnight (end of week 4). You’ll have to set your 25 rostered players (13 active, 12 on the bench,) 5 on the Prospects List, and the rest are cut.

And to make things easy for the bean counters… when posting on the board, make one post for your cuts and prospects, and make a separate post for your starting lineup changes for Week 5. It keeps Fulty & Erty from posting memes about you.

Week 3 – Take it Easy, EZ. You’re in First!

Not sure we’ve every seen a headline like that before, but true story, EZ sits in 1st after week 3. Tied with T-man at 17 points but EZ gets the nod with 11 more player points, which is almost equal to one week of Markstrom in goal.

ORV and EZ discussing Markstrom’s 10 point week. He’s a gooder!

What did Al Iafrate say about Empty Netters?

Bizzare empty netter in Vegas. “Here you go. You get the empty netter. You have no goals this year. Wait, I want the goal.”

Dadonov passed it to get Kolesar a point, and then stole the goal?

Bizarre.

https://t.co/z2JgeXSNfG

— Nick Alberga (@thegoldenmuzzy) October 27, 2021

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• Big Week? EZ & Tman each got 36 points but since they played each other, neither goes 3-0.
• 3-0 weeks? Despite having only the 4th best week, Haukster was the only team to go 3-0
• Lots of tie games this year, and 3 more this week.
• Life’s Not Fair! Fulty had 24 points and didn’t lose a game; Vinny had 28 points and only won one.
• It’s early but who is in the money spots? Ez, Tman, R&S and Haukster are in the $$ spots right now
• Stifler gets the week 3 pick-up. Grabbed Chandler Stephenson VG with the wk2 pick.

WEEK 3 STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
eZ	9	8	0	1	17	103	34.3	0.944	T	2	0	1	36
T-Man	9	8	0	1	17	92	30.7	0.944	H	2	0	1	36
R&S	9	7	2	0	14	99	33.0	0.778	I	2	1	0	34
Haukster	9	6	1	2	14	82	27.3	0.778	S	3	0	0	32
Vinny	9	5	4	0	10	82	27.3	0.556	.	1	2	0	28
Erty	9	4	4	1	9	70	23.3	0.500	W	1	1	1	22
Fulty	9	4	4	1	9	68	22.7	0.500	E	2	0	1	24
JBR	9	3	5	1	7	73	24.3	0.389	E	0	2	1	22
Rolphy	9	2	5	2	6	79	26.3	0.333	K	2	1	0	32
Cordy	9	3	6	0	6	69	23.0	0.333	.	1	2	0	24
Derko	9	2	5	2	6	67	22.3	0.333	.	2	1	0	25
Orv	9	3	6	0	6	67	22.3	0.333	.	0	3	0	16
GnR	9	2	7	0	4	51	17.0	0.222	.	0	3	0	13
Stifler	9	0	8	1	1	60	20.0	0.056	.	0	2	1	24

AVERAGES 

Below is the averages chart after wk 3. For each category check to see where you rate.

Let’s use Rolphy as an example (it’ll be fun & educational!); Rolphy has the 14th best forwards (or “the worst”), the best rook & vet, 3rd best D-men, and worst goalie. But the bottom line shows he does have the 6th best total points overall! Not too shabby!

	T	F	&	V	J	E	Z	D	C	S	H	O	R	G
Fwd	2	10	1	5	7	5	7	3	11	13	3	7	14	12
Rook	10	4	10	4	3	8	4	10	8	10	7	2	1	10
Vet	6	9	12	4	8	10	2	10	3	4	6	12	1	14
D	2	6	3	5	8	10	1	10	7	14	10	8	3	10
Goal	6	11	3	5	6	4	1	10	6	6	2	11	14	13
Overall	3	10	2	4	7	8	1	11	9	13	5	11	6	14

QUOTES 

“I asked myself what move I used last year and then I did the exact opposite (laughs.) But to tell you the truth, I just kinda blacked-out.”

Oiler Zack Kassian when asked about his breakaway goal on Golden Knights Robin Lehner. 

Upcoming Dates

• Nov. 7 – Cut Down Day – Remember to cut your rosters
• Nov. 11 – Remebrance Day – Remember, Lest We Forget

Week 2 – Orv Gets Benched

There’s a new bench on the Scout Island trail where you can sit with Orv and reminisce.

Who can forget Orv trying to pronounce Russian player names? Imagine the fun he’d have with T-Man’s Rookies?

• Chibrikov WP
• Khovanov MN
• Chinakhov CB
• Svechkov NS
• Podkolzin VN
• Klimovich VN

That’s a lot of Ruskies. Just sayin’.

EZ Junior

Congrats to EZ as his oldest stress factor, Tim, is moving up the ranks in the hockey world. After spending time with the Langley Trapper (Jr. B), EZ’s progeny has moved on the the Jr. A ranks with the Langley Rivermen. It won’t be long before EZ starts lobbying his son to take over the top job in BC. #fireBenning

Side note: Tim also holds the Williams Lake 3-on-3 league record for most goals in one game with 5. That may not sound too impressive but you have to remember that his team only won the game by the score of 5-4… plus, he was the goaltender!

FROM THE VAULT 

We never revisited the 2021 Rolling Paper’s predictions for their Obama Kush influenced accuracy, but check this out, GoJo nailed the top 3 in order. Not bad. He missed on Vinny (finished 4th) at 10th, but the rest of it wasn’t too far off. He did screw himself, however, by making sure he finished last.

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• Big week to Team R&S with 41 points
• R&S, Tman, & EZ all go 3-0
• EZ & Tman remain undefeated
• Rolphy, Derko, & Stifler still looking for their first win
• Fulty lost 6 games last year; he’s already at 4 losses this year
• GoJo grabs O’Connor PT with the Wk 1 pick-up
• Wk 2 pick-up goes to Stifler
• Cut-down day Nov 7th. Check the rules if you are unclear of what you need to do.

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
EZ	6	6	0	0	12	67	33.5	1.000	T	3	0	0	33
T man	6	6	0	0	12	56	28.0	1.000	H	3	0	0	32
R&S	6	5	1	0	10	65	32.5	0.833	I	3	0	0	41
Vinny	6	4	2	0	8	54	27.0	0.667	S	1	2	0	29
Hauk	6	3	1	2	8	50	25.0	0.667	.	1	0	2	27
Jbr	6	3	3	0	6	51	25.5	0.500	W	1	2	0	25
Orv	6	3	3	0	6	51	25.5	0.500	E	2	1	0	30
Erty	6	3	3	0	6	48	24.0	0.500	E	1	2	0	24
Cordy	6	2	4	0	4	45	22.5	0.333	K	1	2	0	28
Fulty	6	2	4	0	4	44	22.0	0.333	.	0	3	0	22
GnR	6	2	4	0	4	38	19.0	0.333	.	2	1	0	28
Rolphy	6	0	4	2	2	47	23.5	0.167	.	0	1	2	27
Derko	6	0	4	2	2	42	21.0	0.167	.	0	1	2	27
Stifler	6	0	6	0	0	36	18.0	0.000	.	0	3	0	22

TOP GM’s by Category After Wk 2

• Best Forwards: R&S
• Best Rookie: Rolphy
• Best Vet: Rolphy
• Best D: EZ
• Best Goalie: Erty
• Worst Forwards: Rolphy
• Worst Rookie: Stifler
• Worst Vet: GnR
• Worst D: Stifler
• Worst Goalie: Rolphy

We’ll end with Famous Quotes. This week’s offerings come from ex-NHLer Al Iafrate and our beloved Orv. Guess who said which.

“Open Net goals are for f*gg*ts!”

“We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.”

Week 24 – We Have a Winner!

That was the Penultimate week (kudos to T-Man for being the first to use it… correctly!) and it was a big one for Fulty as he clinched his 3rd OFHL Championship with one week to go! Fulty didn’t really falter over the final month and kept pulling away from the challengers.

Tman also clinched as his perfect week will allow him to strap on the Derko Cup!

There are still races going on as 3rd thru 5th have yet to be decided, as do the final playoff tiers

Tman has the big week with 48 points

He went 3-0, as did Fulty, JBR, and Derko

STANDINGS

	WEEK	24				This Week
TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	W	L	T	PWk	TP	AVG	%
Fulty – Champion!	72	55	16	1	111	3	0	0	43	896	37.3	0.771
Tman – Derko Cup!	72	51	20	1	103	3	0	0	48	860	35.8	0.715
C	72	46	22	4	96	1	2	0	36	794	33.1	0.667
G	72	45	25	2	92	2	1	0	32	779	32.5	0.639
D	72	42	26	4	88	3	0	0	31	778	32.4	0.611
E	72	41	29	2	84	1	2	0	38	784	32.7	0.583
H	72	40	30	2	82	1	2	0	29	768	32.0	0.569
V	72	37	34	1	75	2	1	0	36	712	29.7	0.521
Z	72	34	34	4	72	1	2	0	34	716	29.8	0.500
R	72	23	46	3	49	0	3	0	28	660	27.5	0.340
J	72	21	47	4	46	3	0	0	33	621	25.9	0.319
O	72	22	48	2	46	0	3	0	21	613	25.5	0.319
S	72	19	48	5	43	1	2	0	23	594	24.8	0.299
&	72	9	60	3	21	0	3	0	25	543	22.6	0.146

 

Final Week

SHRAPNEL

A deep dive into HockeyDB reveals the greatest player in the history of hockey. In ’87-’88, Jamie Crapper averaged 4 goals a game for Bracknell of the British Hockey League. The next year he hit 7.9 points per game.

While those are truly impressive numbers, it’s not as good as EZ’s ’15-’16 season of 10.0 ppg with the Dirty Danglers of Total Ice 3-on-3 B league, where EZ played the last game of the season on a broken ankle!

An equally intriguing story is EZ’s growth into his “Snap-Show-like” rage, and his ability to overcome these anger issues. It should also be noted that the 2017 charges of Destruction of Private Property, 3 counts of Uttering Threats, and attempted Arson never went to court.’