Ren & Stimpy OFHL Champs 2024!

Team Ren & Stimpy Win 2nd Straight OFHL Championship!

That ends the regular season for 2023-24:

First Place: Ren & Stimpy – (63-8-1; $450) – It was never in doubt for the two-time winners of “The ORV.” There was a late push from Derko where he came within 10 points of the top spot, but a late trade deadline deal for Letang solidified the win (even if their magic number was only 2 at the time…) R&S led from week 1 and never fell from that spot; it was the first post-to-post run in OFHL history. Had top D-Man: Makar with 100 pts. Had over a 100-player-point lead over the next closest team. Is there a “Three-Peat” coming?

Second Place: Derko (50-19-3; $180) – A great 2nd half of the season wasn’t enough for Derko to catch the champs. It was a huge improvement on last year’s 9th-place finish. Had top forward: MacKinnon 127pts. Huge jump from 9th place last year.

Third Place: Rolphy (49-22-1; $160) – Rolphy consistently moved up the standings all season and went on a 15-3 run mid-season to help the push. Had top Vet: Panarin with 107 pts.

Fourth Place: Stifler (41-27-4; $60) – Stifler put in a lot of hard work all season – starting with his draft and trades – to build a contender this season. He battled with his expansion cousin JBR all season but managed to grab the last money spot on the last week of the season.

5th Place: JBR (40-28-4) – JBR was in a money spot for much of the last half of the season but fell out of the money on the last week. He played without a rookie for the last 10 weeks after Fantilli went down with injury. Would trading for a playing rookie have gotten him into the money? Had the top Goalie: Geogiev with 82 pts.

6th Place: Cordy (39-30-3) – Was as high as 2nd after week 5 but sat in 6th for most of the season. Big climb from 12th last year.

7th Place: Fulty (36-32-4) – This year marks the first time Fulty’s finished out of the money since 2014. That’s an impressive run. Same record as GnR but gets 7th as he had 31 more player pts.

8th Place: GnR (36-32-4) – Hung around 10th for most of the season but got better near the end

9th Place: Erty (35-34-3) – Hovered in the middle of the pack all year. Dropped from his 5th-place season last year

10th Place: Team Orv (27-42-3) – Sat in 3rd after week 3 but that’s as good as it got.

11th Place: EZ (21-50-1) – First season below 50% winning % in 5 years. Had the 2nd worst player points.

12th Place: T-Man (19-51-2) – What happened? The past 3 years he finished 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Just last year he had 104 points (0.754 win %). This was the worst season in T-Man’s history (even his very first season.) Recent discussion at Foxy Friday is that T-Man has lost his touch. Time will tell.

13th Place: Haukster (17-53-2) – Won it all in 2020 and is still in rebuild mode. Had top Rookie: Bedard 57 pts.

Last Place: Vinny – After 2 years of pushing for a top money spot (and ripping along at a 0.618 clip all last year) it all fell apart on Vinny this year. Started bad and stayed there. Hopefully, the number of pick-ups and numerous draft picks will help Vinny build for future years.

AROUND THE LEAGUE... MISSING BOBBLEHEADS RETURNED

The mystery of the missing Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads has been solved. The Pittsburgh Penguins announced Monday that the team secured the return of the truckload of stolen bobbleheads after intense negotiations. The Penguins would not reveal who stole them, but said they were tipped off when a Sun Peaks-based optometrist was noted offering a Free Jagr Bobblehead with every Vision Exam & Complimentary Mammogram. “It’s surprising what Hockey Mom’s will do when their kid wants a novelty item,” said the resourceful optometrist.

Apparently, Bobblehead Jagr doesn’t have the requisite mullet as shown on the Pinnacle hockey card series from the early 90s.

Am I the only one who didn’t know “Angry Squire Barnes” played for the Leafs, and that “Phil Collins in a toupee” was the Blackhawks goalie?

OVIE TAKING IGINLA’S ADVICE ON NUTRITION

“It doesn’t matter what you put in the oven, as long as it burns hot enough.” Jarome Iginla

AVERAGE VEGAS FANS

FRED SOLVES THE MYSTERY

In 05/06 Jonathon Cheechoo had a stat line of 82-56-37-93. His only season over ppg and only season with more than 37 goals. Hyman is currently 68-51-19-70. His previous best was 36 goals last year. Coincidence?

CHIRPING THE BRO’S – CIRCA 2013

Poor Burrows. Not even in the chat yet catches some shrapnel. “We need to come out strong in da turd”. – Burrows, in every 2nd intermission interview.

OFHL PLAYOFFS – Some changes to the OFHL Playoffs this year (except for Vinny, T-Man, & Haukster – you guys are DONE!)

Top 8 Playoff Pool – Teams finishing 1^st through 8^h in the OFHL regular season are in a head-to-head playoff pool. Week one will have teams 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5.  

• Week one winners will go into the “A” side of the pool while the week one losers will go into the “B” side of the pool.  
• Playoffs will continue head-to-head for week 2 and 3 until we have an “A” side winner and a “B” side winner 
• The “A” side winner will receive a pick at the end of the 4^th round in the next year. The “B” side winner will receive a pick at the end of the 5^th round. 

9-11 Pick Pool – Teams finishing 9^th through 11^th in the OFHL regular season (Erty, Team Orv, & EZ) are in a three-week total points pool. (changes allowed weekly) The winner receives a pick at the end of the 3^rd round in the next year.

And finally, NHL Referee Kyle Rehman reffed his 1000th game on Friday night. It makes sense that the Oilers presented him with a “1000” jersey, but why did the Kings present him with their number “10” jersey? Anze Kopitar had the answer.

“Have you seen Rehman’s wife?” said Kopitar. “She’s a smoke show! A total 10!”

Week 18 – Cheers to the Jagrmeister!

He probably played for more OFHL teams than any other player and on Sunday, the Penguins retired Jagr’s number 68 which he chose in honour of his grandfather who was killed during the 1968 Czechoslovakian anti-Soviet movement known as the “Prague Spring.”

Looks like the TBay v FLA game Saturday had some hate.

WHOSE CARD? 

Decent stats; he also had 3 Buts Gagnants (and we all know how painful those can be.)

WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK?

• Derko had the big week with 44 points
• The top 3 teams (R&S, Derko, & Rolphy) all had 3-0 weeks
• The bottom 5 teams only won one game collectively
• Top F: McDavid with 10 pts
• Top R: Cuylle 3pts
• Top V: Duchene 7pts
• Top D: Bouchard 9 pts
• Top G: Hellebuyck 6pts
• Pick-up for Week 18 goes to a Lottery again. A 4 is rolled so Haukster gets the pick-up.
• OFHL Trade Deadline is Sunday, March 10th at midnight.

STANDINGS 

		OVERALL								THIS WEEK
TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
1. R&S	54	46	7	1	93	697	38.7	0.861	.	3	0	0	39
2. Derko	54	40	12	2	82	655	36.4	0.759	.	3	0	0	44
3. Rolphy	54	35	18	1	71	618	34.3	0.657	.	3	0	0	37
4. Stifler	54	32	18	4	68	607	33.7	0.630	.	2	1	0	34
5. JBR	54	32	19	3	67	602	33.4	0.620	.	2	1	0	33
6. Cordy	54	29	22	3	61	580	32.2	0.565	.	1	2	0	34
7. GnR	54	28	22	4	60	570	31.7	0.556	.	2	0	1	36
8. Fulty	54	25	26	3	53	575	31.9	0.491	.	1	2	0	34
9. Erty	54	24	27	3	51	547	30.4	0.472	.	1	1	1	24
10. Team Orv	54	18	34	2	38	528	29.3	0.352	.	0	3	0	31
11. EZ	54	17	36	1	35	448	24.9	0.324	.	0	2	1	24
12. TMan	54	14	38	2	30	500	27.8	0.278	.	0	2	1	36
13. Haukster	54	13	39	2	28	457	25.4	0.259	.	1	2	0	22
14. Vinny	54	9	44	1	19	397	22.1	0.176	.	0	3	0	21

WHOSE CARD WAS IT? 

1084 games. Pt per game player. 1800+ PIMS. Went to Belfast for one last year of mayhem scoring 2.2 pts per game and 8 pims per game.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK…  

“She’s too young to remember when I played in Pittsburgh.”

Jaromir Jagr at his jersey retirement, thanking his girlfriend Dominika for her support.

Week 12 – Happy New Year

OUT WITH THE OLD…

At 51 years old, Jagr is still at a point-per-game pace.

IN WITH THE NEW…

Will Macklin Celebrini look good in a Team Vinny jersey? “Pack it in for Macklin!”

BRAVE OFHL PREDICTION FOR 2024

He had a rough start but Team T-Man is back on the road!

A Tough Holiday Season for Samsonov

R&S puts him in the Player Exchange and now the Leafs waive him

LETANG’S BIG NIGHT

Letang in elite company with Orr, Coffey, and… Stackhouse?

Superstar Trophy Case

Looks like Crosby wins for variety.

WHOSE CARD? 

This ex-Canuck was taken 2nd overall in 1986.

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• Big Week? R&S with 40points
• 3-0 weeks? R&S, JBR, and Rolphy
• Officially halfway through the season and R&S has a 16 pt lead over Derko
• Great battle shaping up with expansion cousins JBR & Stifler
• Stifler had all 13 of his players active on Wednesday… and did not get a point
• Big Mover? only Rolphy moved up this week – 1 spot
• Top F: Aho with 11
• Top Rook: L. Hughes with 8
• Top V: Malkin with 4
• Top D: Walman with 7 (nice pick-up)
• Top G: Skinner with 6
• Week 12 pick-up goes to lottery… a “6” is rolled so it’s EZ’s (lots of 6’s this year… hmm)

STANDINGS 

WHOSE CARD WAS IT? 

As an Oiler, he was part of a 5-player trade with the guy who went one spot ahead of him at #1 in “86.

OFHL HISTORICAL QUOTES 

…AND AS FOR YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION…  

“I resolve not to fall asleep and forget to submit my weekly lin… zzzzz”

Week 20 – JBR Goes Off!

FROM THE VAULT 

Gordie shot left… or right… didn’t matter.

WHOSE CARD? 

It’s SERGE SAVARD’s card, of “Savardian Spinerama” fame.

NAME THE GOALIE

How to increase scoring in the NHL. Make goalies wear two blockers.

Former Kootenay Ice star and 1st round pick, Dan Blackburn, suffered nerve impairment leaving him unable to lift his catching glove arm. Thus, he adopted the “two blockers” style.

WTF?

Golden Knights Goalie Robin Lehner Buys Snake Farm

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• JBR goes off. Gets 64 points this week! Finishes well ahead of the next best team R&S with 43 points
• Both JBR & R&S move 2 points closer to Tman
• Trade deadline passes with no action.
• A 5 is rolled so the pickup goes to Vinny again.
• It’s the last pick-up of the year (Can’t be traded as we are past the trade deadline)
• Thanks to Fulty for always being ready to hit the random dice roller for the weekly lottery pick-up

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TPP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
T-Man	60	47	11	2	96	758	37.9	0.800	.	2	1	0	34
R&S	60	45	14	1	91	742	37.1	0.758	.	3	0	0	43
JBR	60	44	15	1	89	804	40.2	0.742	.	3	0	0	64
eZ	60	37	20	3	77	683	34.2	0.642	.	0	3	0	20
Fulty	60	33	23	4	70	686	34.3	0.583	.	1	2	0	32
Erty	60	33	25	2	68	690	34.5	0.567	.	3	0	0	37
Rolphy	60	30	25	5	65	667	33.4	0.542	.	1	2	0	34
Stifler	60	28	26	6	62	654	32.7	0.517	.	1	2	0	36
Derko	60	28	30	2	58	680	34.0	0.483	.	2	1	0	42
TeamOrv	60	21	36	3	45	616	30.8	0.375	.	0	3	0	28
GnR	60	22	37	1	45	583	29.2	0.375	.	3	0	0	35
Cordy	60	19	40	1	39	594	29.7	0.325	.	1	2	0	33
Vinny	60	11	47	2	24	495	24.8	0.200	.	0	3	0	12
Haukster	60	5	54	1	11	443	22.2	0.092	.	1	2	0	29

3 weeks to go

AND REMEMBER… 

OFHL Playoffs run for 3 weeks (changes allowed weekly) for the top 11 teams. The season is over for teams finishing 12^th, 13^th, and 14^th. 

Top 8 Playoff Pool (top 8 teams from regular OFHL season) 

• Week One: Head to Head 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5 
• Week Two: Semi-Finals: Winners of Week One continue the playoff. Highest v. lowest  
• Week One losers go to 2 weeks of Total Point Playdown for a pick at the end of the 4th round next year 
• Week Three: Finals: (Semi-Final winners play for 1^st ) (Semi-Final losers play for 3rd) 

9-11 Pick Pool

• Teams finishing 9^th through 11^th in the OFHL regular season are in a three-week total points pool. (changes allowed weekly)  
• The winner receives a pick at the end of the 3^rd round in the next year. 
• Playoff Tie Breaker – the tie break will be a “Shoot-Out.” The 2 teams decide a winner based on the past week’s points of the highest individual point-getter on each team (player can be any position.) Example: Team A’s top scorer has 8 points, and Team B’s top scorer has 7, so Team A gets the win. If the teams are tied, we compare their 2nd best scorer… and so on until we get a winner. Coin toss is still the final authority. 

Week 14 – Malkin In The Middle

It’s been a while since he’s been on ice for the Pens, but Malkin managed 3 points in his first game back

Tweakin’ the Rules

Thanks to those who chimed in on the player rule tweak. As much as GoJo hates rule changes, this mid-season amendment is more of a “tweak” than a “let’s go to 2 goalies to screw over Dinky” kind of change.

So, Section V.a. will now read: All OFHL players must either have been drafted to the NHL, or have a current or previous NHL contract.  This clarifies that someone may pick up Kane…

The Oilers have inquired on Kane but whichever NHL team grabs him should be prepared for a “Texas Kane Saw Massacre.” fultyfiles

Show him the $$$! Joe Sakic’s player profile from the 1987 Swift Current Broncos program states he wanted to have “lots of money.” I think he can check that one off the list.

Wonder if Spuds Mckenzie is still his hero?

Kappo Kahkonen Cutting Down the Angle?

“Challenge the shooter. Challenge the shooter…” fultyfiles

When I Think About Me I Touch Myself

Jaromir Jagr was recently interviewed for a Czech kids’ show and was asked what was the last book he read. “It’s a book about Jaromir Jagr called ‘Jaromir Jagr‘.”

Jagr reading a book about Jagr is just so Jagr.

More Insane Europeans…

Follow the waffle, Olli.

Yep, it’s a real thing, and available from Haukster for picks and prospects. from the hauksterfiles

THE WEEK IN BULLETS 

• No changes up top as 4 of the top 5 teams go 3-0; only T-Man dropped a game.
• GnR also went 3-0 and moved out of last place.
• EZ had the big week with 41 pts and stays atop the league, 2 points ahead of R&S
• Vinny’s Marchand had a huge week with 10 points
• Fulty has a 1 player point lead over EZ
• Erty, Derko, & GnR all move up one spot in the standings
• Cordy is in last (losing the “Turtle Race” with GnR) and gets the pick-up

STANDINGS 

TEAM	G	W	L	T	PTS	TP	AVG	%		W	L	T	PWk
EZ	42	32	7	3	67	433	30.9	0.798	.	3	0	0	41
R&S	42	32	9	1	65	418	29.9	0.774	.	3	0	0	31
Fulty	42	30	10	2	62	434	31.0	0.738	.	3	0	0	26
Tman	42	28	11	3	59	427	30.5	0.702	.	2	1	0	32
Vinny	42	27	14	1	55	378	27.0	0.655	.	3	0	0	38
Haukster	42	18	22	2	38	310	22.1	0.452	.	1	2	0	17
Team Orv	42	17	23	2	36	347	24.8	0.429	.	0	2	1	24
Rolphy	42	16	23	3	35	341	24.4	0.417	.	0	2	1	24
Derko	42	15	24	3	33	329	23.5	0.393	.	1	2	0	25
Erty	42	16	25	1	33	315	22.5	0.393	.	1	2	0	23
JBR	42	14	25	3	31	334	23.9	0.369	.	0	3	0	23
Stifler	42	12	28	2	26	312	22.3	0.310	.	0	3	0	12
GnR	42	12	29	1	25	300	21.4	0.298	.	3	0	0	35
Cordy	42	10	29	3	23	319	22.8	0.274	.	0	3	0	16

 

AVERAGES 

	T	F	&	V	J	E	Z	D	C	S	H	O	R	G
F	2	1	3	6	10	13	4	9	7	5	11	8	12	14
R	11	8	10	2	5	13	3	3	12	14	9	6	1	6
V	4	7	11	2	2	13	7	11	4	9	10	4	1	14
D	4	3	1	7	9	8	2	14	13	12	11	10	5	6
G	7	11	5	8	12	1	2	3	9	13	6	4	14	10
Tot	3	1	4	5	8	11	2	9	10	12	13	6	7	14

UNTIL NEXT WEEK…